Therapy culture: Are we healing or over-diagnosing our emotions?

A decade ago, phrases like set boundaries, that’s toxic behaviour, I was triggered, narcissist and gaslighting were mostly heard in therapists’ offices, psychology lecture halls and clinical settings. Today, they are part of everyday conversations, woven into discussions about friendships, dating, parenting and workplace conflicts.

From TikTok therapists and Instagram mental health coaches to podcasts and self-help books, psychological language has entered the mainstream at an unprecedented pace.

The result is a generation that appears more emotionally aware than any before it. But as mental health vocabulary becomes increasingly common, experts are asking a critical question. Are we becoming better at understanding ourselves, or are we beginning to medicalise normal human emotions?

For those who have sought therapy, the experience is often very different from what social media portrays.

Anne Kavetsa, a 34-year-old communications professional, began therapy after experiencing severe burnout.

“I used to think therapy was only for people with serious mental illness, I didn’t realise it could help with everyday challenges such as stress, self-esteem and relationship issues,” Anne says.

Through therapy, she learned healthier coping mechanisms and gained insight into patterns that were affecting her wellbeing.

Similarly, Brian Mwadime, 38, sought counselling after losing his first child. He and his partner had waited eight years for the baby, only for the child to pass away two hours after delivery.

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“I wasn’t looking for a diagnosis; I simply needed help processing grief. I saw my partner struggle with labour pains, only for us to return home with baby clothes alone. Therapy gave me a safe space to understand what I was feeling.” Brian says.

Both say one of the biggest misconceptions about therapy is that it is only for people in crisis. In reality, many people use it as a tool for personal growth, emotional regulation and self-awareness.

Mental health influencer Sean Wangai says social media has played a major role in increasing awareness, particularly among young people.

“Mental health content performs well because people are searching for answers and many finally feel seen when someone describes experiences they have struggled to explain.”

This growing online engagement has also spilt over into everyday life, where conversations about mental health are becoming more open and frequent.

According to psychologist Maureen Ngari, discussions about emotions, mental health and wellbeing are now more common on social media, in workplaces and within communities. This increased dialogue is helping people develop greater emotional awareness and giving them language to describe their experiences.

However, awareness alone is not enough. “Many people are becoming aware of their emotions, but are left to figure out what to do with that awareness on their own. As a result, some experience stagnation, fear, confusion, or overwhelm. Emotional awareness is only the first stage of emotional intelligence; it must be followed by understanding, regulation, and healthy action.”

Ngari notes that many popular psychological terms are frequently misunderstood. “Words such as trauma, narcissist, gaslighting and triggered have very specific meanings in psychology. When these terms are used casually, they often lose their clinical significance.”

Mental health professionals emphasise the importance of distinguishing between everyday emotions and clinical conditions. Stress, sadness and anxiety are normal human responses to life’s challenges. While they can be uncomfortable, they do not automatically indicate mental illness. Trauma, however, is the emotional, psychological and sometimes physical response to a deeply distressing, overwhelming or life-threatening event.

Mental disorders are clinically significant conditions that affect a person’s thoughts, emotions, behaviours or ability to function. They are diagnosed using established criteria, including those outlined in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5).

Experts caution, however, that a 60-second video cannot replace a professional assessment. While social media can help people identify experiences they relate to, it should never be treated as a substitute for professional evaluation. Content creators, therefore, carry a responsibility to educate without encouraging self-diagnosis.

Not everyone is comfortable with the growing influence of therapy culture. Business owner Peter Kamau believes psychological labels are increasingly being applied to situations that do not warrant them.

“Every strict parent is called toxic, every breakup becomes trauma, every selfish person is labelled a narcissist, sometimes people are simply dealing with life’s normal challenges.”

Peter worries that overusing psychological terminology can discourage resilience and create a culture where discomfort is automatically viewed as dysfunction. Mental health experts agree that while emotional experiences should be validated, not every difficult feeling requires a clinical explanation.

For many parents, the rapid rise of therapy language has been difficult to keep up with.

“When we were growing up, nobody talked about boundaries or trauma responses,” says Margaret Muthama, a mother of three. “If you were struggling emotionally, you spoke to relatives, prayed or focused on your responsibilities.”

Today, her teenage children regularly use terms she never encountered at their age. Like many parents, Margaret sees value in encouraging emotional openness but admits some of the language feels foreign.

The contrast highlights a broader generational shift. Older generations often prioritised endurance and stoicism, while younger generations place greater emphasis on emotional expression and mental wellbeing. Neither approach is entirely right nor wrong. The challenge lies in finding a balance between resilience and emotional awareness.

Despite growing acceptance, therapy remains out of reach for many Kenyans, with sessions costing between Sh2000 and Sh10,000, making it largely an urban, middle-class service.

However, experts note that professional counselling is not the only form of support. Community groups, faith-based counselling, workplace programmes, peer networks and mental health helplines also play a key role.