Ten divorcee personalities you'll meet in Kenya

Divorce in Kenya is rarely a quiet affair. It is often chaotic and emotionally charged and leaves a trail of casualties. Most cases are messy, noisy, and complicated. If you think the drama ends once the final settlement is reached, you’d be gravely mistaken. Many divorced individuals continue to battle long after the ink on the decree has dried. Here are ten types of divorcees you’re likely to encounter in the Kenyan context:

1. The celibate

She vows never to remarry, choosing instead to dedicate her life to faith and celibacy. Betrayed and disillusioned, she declares that no man is good enough for her. Her chaste life persists well into old age, her heart firmly closed to love.

2. The rebounder

Barely a month after the divorce, he’s already in a new relationship—perhaps even remarried. If questioned about his haste, he shrugs and says it’s his way of “moving on.” To him, the past is best forgotten, and the future waits for no one.

3. The chaotic

For her, divorce is just another battlefield. Even after the legal separation, she ensures her ex never knows peace. She bombards him with anonymous insults from multiple phone numbers, trolls him on social media, and spills his darkest secrets to the world. If revenge is a dish best served cold, she prefers it flaming hot.

4. The pragmatic and grudge-free

Keep Reading

Unfazed by the divorce, he moves on as though nothing ever happened. He harbours no resentment towards his ex-wife and even congratulates her when she remarries. If invited to her wedding WhatsApp group, he contributes generously—completely unbothered and at peace with the past.

5. The promiscuous

Newly divorced, she embraces her newfound freedom with unrestrained enthusiasm. A stream of different men frequent her home, for she no longer owes loyalty to anyone. Ironically, she initiated the divorce after discovering her husband’s affair—only to become entangled in multiple married men’s lives, becoming a side chick herself.

6. The motivational speaker/counsellor

Once the dust settles, he reinvents himself as a self-proclaimed marriage expert. His social media pages brim with cautionary tales about the dangers of staying in toxic unions. He warns the younger generation: choose wisely, or you’ll end up crying in the toilet.

7. The vengeful

She doesn’t just hold grudges—she acts on them. Hell-bent on revenge, she may go as far as hiring thugs to vandalise her ex’s business. If an unexplained misfortune befalls him, chances are she had a hand in it.

8. The ex-basher

He never misses an opportunity to trash his former wife. When a potential partner inquires about his past marriage, he launches into a tirade: “That woman never knew how to bathe! She was lazy! A complete witch!” His bitterness is evident, and he ensures everyone within earshot hears about it.

9. The new me

Once unkempt and uninspiring, she emerges from the divorce as a strikingly different woman. Her hair is always immaculate, her skin glows, and she sports expensive makeup. When asked about her transformation, she laughs and says, “Nimerudi soko” (I’m back on the market).

10. The reconciliation hopeful

Despite the finality of the divorce, she remains convinced that her ex-husband will return. She rejects all suitors, insisting, “Baba Watoto will come back for me.” Clinging to nostalgia, she waits—often in vain—for a reunion that may never come.