Friends with benefits is a scam

So there is this millennial BS people seem to engage in nowadays called "friends with benefits" - a license for two friends to do the nasty without any sorts of commitment.

Basically, it is men treating their friend's vaginas like a municipal toilet where they piss and go without emotional attachment or obligation. Big scam right there girls - scam!

If the sex is rewarding then that is fine but from what I hear about these trysts, you have a better chance getting Raila to clip Ruto's toenails than getting a good romp during these cold, mechanical milking sessions. A round of drunken lousy sex would never produce enough energy to open an eyelid, leave scare a mosquito off.

Most Kenyan men ask for this kind of arrangement because the "non committal" part appeals to them. It's like "listen, I bought you a car but I'll still be taking it around town to park it in different garages just for the heck of it". So that way they get to sample various products but in the end settle on a completely different product because let's be honest, nothing meaningful ever comes from FWB. Truth of the matter is the woman loses in a FWB arrangement.

Ladies, if he is not hot, is not rich and has a face that can only be kissed in the dark then please do not embarrass yourself by settling for that FWB rubbish and the crappy average Kenyan sex that comes with it.

Women have sex for four reasons. Pleasure, kindness (like when you have really bothered her for too long or spent so much on her that she gives you one out of pity), when she has no choice like when in marriage and lastly when she is on a mission i.e. you have something she wants. Could be a job, could be getting pregnant and entrapping you, etc. Now friends with benefits for women should only be centred on pleasure. FWB sex is supposed to be lusty, so sweet yet so sinful, a guilt-ridden ride, something so good but you know you should stop because you'll lose yourself if you don't.

The FWB arrangement is for immaculate men we could only fantasise about in dreams. Men with bodies that give us so many naughty thoughts that make us fall on our knees and pray "father, I have sinned" and ask for an exorcism. FWB is for men who can give good head, and I mean really good till the legs wobble when you walk the next day. And sometimes it is a reserve for filthy rich men who use money to make up for penile inadequacies.

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FWB should be a sweet temporary thing because as a woman you should be smart enough to realize good sex isn't medium of exchange for goods and services in the Kenyan market and a hot body alone doesn't pay the bills. So just do it to quench your thirst as you seek for a responsible man to marry and have babies with.

FWB is for men who can deliver. Before you give it to them you should deem them a top shelf product. He needs to be physically okay and knows his way around a woman's body. Because under all circumstances men will hit it off, irrespective of whether she looks like a tree or has the face of a hedgehog. Biology favours them. But what of you?

What is most annoying is the calibre of some men who shamelessly walk up to you seeking friends with benefit status. I mean you'll find a guy with flabby body, the type who can't figure stomach from back and for whom just getting out of his clothes is a health hazard having the audacity to ask for a FWB!

Where they get the audacity to ask for a free ride still beats me. Boy please, if you can't fit in tight jeans, kindly endure the nagging that comes with dating like a normal man.