Should I convert to Islam just so I can marry her?

I am a staunch Christian and have been in love with a Muslim girl for several years now. We are both in our mid 20's and we are now sure that we want to get married to each other. Her family members are dedicated Muslims and are totally against the relationship.

They have made it clear that they don't want their daughter getting married to a non-Muslim unless I convert to Islam. I really love her and we understand each other for who we are. I am however confused about this situation and don't know what to do. Please advise...

{Benjamin} Religion shouldn’t be an issue in relationships. It is up to the two of you to make a decision about things, not your parents.

Many times we have to sacrifice for those we love. If you are ready to convert to Islam to keep the relationship, then go ahead and do so.

{Fred Jausenge}

It is good to follow your parents’ advice but not when it is based on false information. The most important thing here is if you are convinced that this is the woman you want to marry. If you are, go ahead and marry her. With time, your parents will come to see the qualities you saw in her and begin to like her.

{Tasma Charles}

It is written clear even in the Bible that the head of the household shall be the man and the woman shall be the neck. Are you marrying this woman or is this woman marrying you.

 Since you are the one marrying this woman she should join your church without any question. If all alternatives are blocked, leave her and look for a Christian woman to marry.

{Onyango Outha Jauduny}

The most important thing here is your views about religion and about marriage. What if your parents say they don’t want anything to do with a Muslim girl? To continue in this relationship, you may have to change your religion. However, get a way of a 50:50 compromise so that you are not the only one making all the sacrifices.

{Ouma Ragumo}

Love knows no barrier, race, colour or religion. Have you also consulted with or considered the views of your parents in this matter? Again, what are her views about this? Is she willing to abandon Islam for Christianity? Explore all these factors and come up with a concrete solution.

{Tom K. Ng’angas} Islam is founded on and derives its doctrines from the Quran. In most instances, the Quran is straight forward presumably to reduce instances of misinterpretation. The issue of marriages between Muslims and persons from other religions is discussed in ‘Surah 5:5’ where Muslim men are allowed to marry women from other religions.

However, there are some reservations about a Muslim woman marrying into other religions as was once explained to me by a Deputy Imam several years ago.

The Imam was categorical that if a Christian woman is married into an Islamic family, she may be encouraged but would not be compelled to convert to Islam. However, all children born of that marriage would presumably be expected, and out rightly so, to proclaim Islamic faith.

The Quran is straight forward and discourages Islamic women from getting married to men from other religions.

 He explained that if a Christian man desires were to marry a Muslim woman, she would have trouble in the marriage right from the word go because of existing differences in the doctrines and practices such as practices during Ramadhan, mode of dressing, procedures for preparation of some foods and behaviour in places of worship among others which would cause a conflict in the family.

 In this case and if you are still focused on marrying that lady, you may be encouraged to convert to Islam before a marriage is accepted and officiated. Either this or the relationship and marriage will face a lot of resistance. This would certainly be a big decision but for the marriage to work, it may be the only way.

If you are not willing to convert then take time and find a more suitable partner. In most instances, where the ladies stand their ground and run off to get married to men from other religions, they are often denounced sometimes making them outcasts from their families.

This is a tough call and will call for serious reflection on how far you are willing to go. The bottom line is that when it comes to issues such as these, often hard line stands are taken and you are the one to bend over backwards if you are to carry on with this relationship.

(Quotations of the Quran and interpretations herein are as per the guidance provided by Sheikh Juma Amir).

{Taurus}