Am I raising entitled children?

Hi Chris,

Naturally, I want to best for my kids. But I’m beginning to wonder whether they’re taking everything I do for them for granted. And so I’m worrying that they aren’t developing the sort of attitudes that lead to success in life. Am I overthinking?

Successful Kids

Chris says,

Hi Successful Kids!

You’re right to worry. Children can easily grow up feeling entitled to the good life, and fail to learn the skills that enable them to reach their potential.

But entitlement’s learned, and you can make sure it doesn’t happen to your kids.

So be their role model, and show your children what’s really important in life. Like the way you treat the people around you. Make your kids aware of the industries that produce the things they want. So that they aspire to become producers rather than just consumers.

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Teach your children gratitude by thanking them when they do chores or get something right. Appreciating them teaches them to appreciate you.

Have high expectations for your children, and set high educational standards for yourself. Because children strive to reach the same level of education as their parents.

Build good relationships with them, and resist the temptation to be overprotective ‘helicopter parents.’

Praise effort, because that builds the idea that they become good at what they work at.

Teach them good social skills, including how to manage anger and solve conflicts. And especially patience and perseverance. Children who get too used to things happening on demand have a hard time adjusting to the real world as adults.

Limit the technology in their lives. Encourage face-to-face interactions and creative problem-solving. Because when your children are endlessly plugged into the internet, everything seems so easy. So they quickly stop trying to figure things out on their own. And they resist learning hard skills, like science and maths.

Above all, teach them that nothing worth having ever happens quickly. That the enjoyment of easy wins quickly fades. And that our greatest happiness comes from truly mastering difficult skills. And learning how to form good and long-lasting relationships.

All the best,

Chris