Confessions: My first time…

If we go by the movies, the first time is supposed to have roses, candlelight, a song to serenade you and when you get down to it, filled with passion. It’s the time a girl turns into a woman, appreciating all the pleasures that come with intimacy. Then again, what actually happens is a totally different story. Some women share their experiences below.

1. It hurt too much

I was 16 years old and was dating this older guy from my neighbourhood. He was super sweet and kind and at the time I thought I was in love with him (I was 16, don’t judge me). Anyway, a few days to his birthday I asked him if he would like to swipe my v-card. He was more than excited. On d-day (see what I did there!) I went to his place eager to finally become a woman. It was all well and good until the final showdown when he had to explore my temple and the moment he went in I swear I felt my soul leaving in the opposite direction. It was beyond painful. I don’t know why people told me it would be pleasurable. Not to mention there was blood; nobody tells you about the blood. ~ D.O 32

He was patient. He didn’t rush things. We met several times before we actually did it. The foreplay was good. Physically I was ready. But nothing prepared me for the actual act. I’m a tight girl, always have been. And when he tried getting in I could have sworn he had cut me with a hot sharp knife. The pain was excruciating. He kept telling me to relax but I couldn’t. I was in panic mode. This was made worse by the fact that we were in his friend’s house who I feared would walk in on us. The morning after I saw blood and that made me panic even more. Thank goodness subsequent meetings were good enough to erase the memory of that first time. ~ M.A 28

2. I felt nothing

I had decided to wait a while before losing my virginity. I was 21 years old dating a guy from campus. He was charming, super tall, big hands and a gorgeous smile. It felt right to do it with him and he had upped his game (alikuwa anajichocha). He claimed that he would make me see stars and call my ancestors. Guess what? I was lying on my back, a sweaty human on top of me and absolutely no sensations and no stars. Mr Sir was the size of my pinky. ~ H.K 24

3. My mum walked in

I was tired of being the only virgin among my friends so the first guy who showed a little interest in me, I decided to jump at the opportunity and explore this sexual life. The guy was sweet, not an idiot. He asked me over and over again if I was sure and I gave him my consent. That weekend my mum was going for a chama meeting and it was the perfect opportunity because I knew she would be back late, enough time for me and this guy to have some fun. In the midst of heated pleasure, my mum came home and I didn’t hear her opening the gate or calling out my name. Next thing I know she barges into my room, screaming at the top of her lungs. The guy got scared and ran out of the house. My mum called for a church meeting to be held in my house to apparently pray for the demons that were disturbing me. ~ E.S 20

4. We were caught by the cops

Anyone who says car sex is fun is a liar. It’s dangerous, cramped and sweaty. I don’t know why I chose my first time to be in a car. We’ll just blame the alcohol. The boy I was with owned a Vitz and for some reason, it felt like the best place to get deflowered. Things were going good until we heard a knock on the driver side window. Upon lowering the window we were greeted by three Administrative Police holding AK-47s. One of them asked us to step out of the car as we were and had us standing in the cold, in a state of undress, for nearly 30 minutes. Thank God it was at night but the experience was humiliating. ~ T.K 30

5. I got an infection

Public bathrooms are a well-known yuck fest. All sorts of bacteria and infections are looming and waiting to attack an unsuspecting user. With this information, you’d wonder why I chose to have sex, for the first time, in a public bathroom. He was a stranger but he looked the part and I was ready to explore what these Nairobians call fun. We went into the ladies bathroom and got down to business. He had me up against the wall and a week later I had a weird sensation in my lady parts. I thought it was just a normal yeast infection or a UTI. Turns out I got a bacterial infection from the bathroom or him, I’m not sure which, and I was on antibiotics for two weeks.

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