Why ‘shamba’ boys could be the only remaining ‘real men’ around here

When Bruce Jenner, the reality TV star who is famous for being model and socialite Kim Kardashian’s step- father, woke up one day and started walking around in dresses and heels, I thought it was a publicity stunt.

Look, why would a 65 year-old man called Bruce wake up and decide to change his name to Caitlyn? What nonsense? I wondered. I convinced myself that it was one of those crazy things Hollywood guys do, and moved on. Then alas, months later, closer home, the most peculiar thing happened; some nondescript male socialite decided to post pictures of himself dressed as a woman. He claimed that although he was a man on the outside, he was a woman in soul. Can you imagine such madness!

Is this a trend Kenyan women will take kindly? In the past, women have had to endure the most peculiar behaviour from men. At times, men do weird things and all you can do it watch in disgust. It all began with the metrosexual movement a while back when men all over suddenly ‘discovered their feminine side’. And so they invaded our saloons, and began doing manicures, pedicures and facials.

Then they started to wear jewellery too; from bangles, ear and nose rings to plaiting hair. Cosmetic companies began to notice the trend, and started churning out lotions for men — for the very first time in the history of man’s existence.

At some point they discovered skinny jeans, fashionable jeans, which women wear to highlight their curves. But suddenly, men discovered they also had curves worth showing. Then recently, men discovered Instagram and women’s obsessions with taking selfies every other second, and they are competing with women to pose in social media pictures. What became of real men?

We have continued to watch in shock but keep mum. When men ditched manly activities like ‘fixing simple stuff’ around the house because they had manicure appointments, we kept quiet and instead fantasised about our shamba boys--who are what I can describe as last men standing.

At this rate, women will be left with no other option but to fantasise about house boys and herds men. At least these group has stuck to what men are supposed to be--strong, with rock hard abs to die for, capable of handling technical stuff around the house, not this mushy pot-bellied so-called modern man who keep throwing their weights around.

Weaker sex

Honestly, this business of men dressing like women is going too far! Gentlemen, cut it out. Why would a grown man want to look like a woman-- a gender that society has over the years called the “weaker sex”? Why all this male interest in feminine things you may ask? Being a woman must be very cool indeed. Who wouldn’t want to be a woman, anyway? We have a wide variety of wardrobe choices, we are prettier, we do not have to pay for bills, we get to have multiple orgasms, we have the best cosmetic selection, we have better curves, we get to wear make-up and glitter; the list goes on and on but unfortunately we all can’t be women. Someone has to put on the pants in our relationships, so men please stay in your lane and rediscover your manhood, and keep off our glitter!