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Imagine you and your partner writing down physical intimacy wishes on small folded notes and placing them in a jar, then taking turns to pick one to guide the night.
This is one memorable way to gift your lover pleasure during the holidays.
As people exchange gifts to spread festive cheer, the bedroom can also be part of the celebration.
On social media, men have been playfully downplaying the value of sexual gifting.
Consultant psychologist James Bosse notes that many men struggle to view physical intimacy as a gift. He encourages another perspective.
James explains that the festive season offers an opportunity for lovers to consider making love as a gift, and says women are often more receptive to the idea than men.
He describes this form of gifting as an intentional act that enhances closeness. When done thoughtfully, James adds that sexual gifting has psychological benefits such as making partners feel valued and reducing performance pressure.
“It boosts bonding and self-esteem and fires up the desire to want each other more,” he says.
For physical intimacy gifting to feel comfortable, he advises expressing to your partner that you want to create a special experience and asking how they would like it approached, while keeping preferences and boundaries in mind. He adds that emotional intimacy is what gives sexual gifting meaning.
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Playful and sensual gestures tailored to each other can follow. A romantic setting is always reliable, whether through soft lighting, flower petals on the bed, scented candles, or dressing in a sensual evening outfit, heels, and an inviting fragrance.
“People get excited about simple things; look out for reactions to see what works,” he says.
The festive spirit also inspires creative exchanges. Partners can give sexy gifts such as erotic novels, lingerie or briefs, candle sets, perfumes, or chocolates.
Other ideas include breakfast in bed, long pillow conversations, or simply enjoying quiet moments together.
James notes that while physical intimacy gifting is well-meaning, it may backfire if offered at the wrong time or when a partner is not in the mood.
Maintaining daily affection helps prevent this and prepares couples for this form of gifting.
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