What causes lovers to murder to their partners

Scriptures describe love as patient and kind. It has no envy, nor is it boastful nor proud. Love does not rejoice over evil and is the truth seeker. Love protects; preserves and hopes for the positive aspect of life. Love should be experienced and not just felt. The depth of love cannot be measured.

In his effort to explain love, Scott Perk, author of the Road Less Travelled says: “One result of the mysterious nature of love is that no one has ever arrived at a satisfactory definition of love.”

In his view, “Love is too large, too deep ever to be truly understood or measured or limited within the framework of words”.

On the other hand, the Ancient Greeks were passionate about their expression of love and distinguished the language of how the word is used in four distinct words; eros, phileo, storge and agape. Agape is unconditional love that brings forth caring regardless of the circumstance. This is the greatest of love.

What then is it that causes love to turn to murder and how does one that has been a passionate lover become a victim or murderer? How does love cause one to commit crime? Recently the media reported on two crimes of passion within a week.

Although this seems unthinkable the truth is that crimes of passion have always taken place, many unreported but the reality is that yes this does happen and causes a great deal of pain, distress and heartache to their significant others who cannot comprehend the same neither have had the privilege of getting answers to their questions.

Crimes of passion typically involve assault, murder or suicide. They are fueled by jealousy, fear of losing the partner, extreme anger and rage, heartbreak, and revenge.

 It is also worth noting that these crimes are also fueled by mental health illness, stress, depression, bipolar disorder, dementia, schizophrenia anxiety disorders and more serious mental health conditions. Symptoms include mood and personality habits or social withdrawal.

Crimes of passion have long fascinated societies seeking to understand, how does one kill because they love? There are more questions than answers. Are human time bombs nearby without you even knowing it?

Do crimes of passion just happen? Most certainly not. Usually, there are signs that the victims can choose to acknowledge or ignore. Usually the victims are caught by surprise because although they are aware of the signs, they ignore them believing that because of love nothing would go wrong.

Most times, it is obvious to those close to the victim and sometimes not at all. Most crimes begin with a disagreement, a quarrel that escalates arising out of a normal everything situation, usually involving a third party, friends, children, relatives, colleagues including neighbors.

Crimes of passion are found within and not external, they are human time bombs the persons carry with them usually ready to explode if triggered by insecurities. If you are constantly abused, emotionally or physically, or constantly accused of imaginary unfaithfulness, wake up from your slumber, you may be at risk.

Why play with fire when you know that the flame can consume you. You don’t have to be with a criminal to commit a crime of passion, ordinary people driven to the edge do after sharing deep emotional bonds that eventually led to betrayals, usually unfaithfulness or financial and ego issues.

Everyone is a potential victim of a crime of passion, what makes the difference is to become aware of your environment and make wise choses timely. Whatever you do don’t ignore the signs, be alert, don’t provoke and run for your life when you still can. Recognize when to withdraw, and take cover. Your life is precious and worth protecting.

If you think you are a victim, it is no longer about love, it is about your, low self -worth, low self-esteem and fear that needs address. Awareness is crucial as you seek good healthy relationships.

- The writer is a Relationship Coach and Author, Marriage Built to Last. You can reach her on; www.jenniekarina.co.ke