Is sex really the secret to marital bliss?

Hi Chris,

Does making love more often make your marriage happier? I don’t think it makes any difference, but my husband strongly disagrees! Can you settle the argument?

More Sex

Hi More Sex!

Many people, including couples who have very little sex together, say that how often they make love does not affect their marriage. But that’s mostly because they haven’t researched the subject enough to test their beliefs!

Psychologists have, however. When they measure couples’ unconscious attitudes towards each other, they find that those who have sex twice a week or more show much more positive feelings towards each other than those who have sex once a week or less.

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This doesn’t mean you’re being dishonest when you say sex doesn’t matter in your relationship. But you are wrong! Driven by those subconscious attitudes, couples really do get along much better when they make love more often.

This is something worth knowing, as far too few couples prioritise sex in their relationship. You should clearly make it a priority, because if you do, it will pretty much ensure that your whole relationship goes better.

Learn how to talk about sex easily to help you understand what works for you both. Establish a shared bedtime routine. Couples who go to bed at different times or who watch TV or check their social media in bed are much less likely to be intimate. Couples who sleep naked and cuddle together are always much happier.

Look into each other’s eyes as often as possible and be playful, teasing each other outside the bedroom. Be completely open and honest with each other. This builds trust and intimacy throughout the relationship.

Be enthusiastic about making love, set aside time for it and be willing to try anything that might be a turn-on. You’ll then have a wonderful time in bed. You’ll also have a much better relationship.

All the best,

Chris