One of the pillars of a successful relationship is effective communication be it verbal or non-verbal. Even so, every couple needs to come to a compromise especially when dealing with each other’s flaws.
For a relationship to last, you need to learn how and when to communicate effectively. In this way, you will be able to make your feelings known without stepping on your significant other’s toes. This is how:
1. Timing
Timing is everything. When you are both stressed and distracted by other things such as work and kids, isn’t the best time to attempt to have a serious conversation. At this point, your judgement might be flawed and you are unable to focus on the issue at hand. The best time is when you are both settled, away from the kids and technology, where you can both handle issues rationally.
2. Tone
Tone is also another important aspect of effective communication. If you approach an issue with a harsh tone, your partner will most likely become defensive. Understand that this is only a natural reaction. Often, constant nagging makes men more resistant and unable to see the error of their ways. Always remember that people are more inclined to change when they are approached in a calm, loving way which helps them better accept constructive criticism.
3. Choice of words
Another important aspect of effective communication is the words you use. Words have the power to make or break a relationship. If your partner does something wrong and you use words such as ‘you always do this wrong,’ or ‘you never listen,’ they will eventually build a wall of resentment. We are all fragile beings who need to be encouraged especially by our partners so be careful with the words you use.
4. Setting ground rules for arguments
No relationship can possibly grow without disagreements. These arguments, if left unresolved, often blow up and become vicious fights. Making a plan on how you will handle arguments should they arise will help you navigate these troubling times. Do this when things are peaceful between the two of you.
Agree on how you prefer to handle issues. Set boundaries on how involved your friends and families should be and decide when a third party is appropriate for you. Agree that you will both be honest with each other and avoid hitting below the belt, veering off-topic, insulting one another and making assumptions. Handle everything as a team even when you are not on the same page.
5. Love languages
Bearing in mind that we are all different, it is important to understand your partner’s love language. This will help diffuse arguments and/or misunderstandings long before they occur.
Take the time to learn what your partner considers a sign of love be it spending time together, loving words, touch, etc. Once you notice what your partner appreciates the most, make an effort to keep that in mind whenever you are trying to show them that they are loved. This is a very essential way to communicate with your partner in non-verbal ways.