I have found true love but I might never enjoy it

I am a staunch Christian man and have been in love with a Muslim girl for several years now. We are both in our mid 20s and we are now sure that we want to get married to each other. Her family members are dedicated Muslims and are totally against the relationship. They have made it clear that it's either a Muslim or no husband at all. I really love her and we understand each other for who we are. I am however confused about this situation and don't know what to do. Please advise me. {Benjamin}

Your Take:

Benjamin, this is a decision that only you can make. Converting to Islam will not cost you anything and after all it will be a sacrifice for the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.

{Fred Jausenge}

In marriage there should be no boundaries but it seems you are hitting a rock. In this situation, you may convert into Islam or leave the girl and move on with your life. The only option at hand is to call it quits if you aren’t ready to convert.

{Onyango Outha}

Benjamin you must learn that Muslims have very strict rules. It is said that if you can’t beat them, join them. So if you love this girl as you say you do then join her in her faith and carry on with life as happily as ever.

{Shadrack}

Issues of religion and denomination are never easy. Muslims have always insisted that if a Christian man is interested in marrying a Muslim girl then he has to denounce his faith and convert to Islam. For this union to thrive then one must drop their religion which calls for compromise.

If you are not willing to do this, then give up the relationship. The good thing is that no serious vows have been exchanged yet. I am convinced that as a staunch Christian, you would not change religion neither will she, so call it quits.

{Ouma Ragumo}

Islam is a religion that accepts and tolerates all other religions that believe in God. Interfaith marriage is allowed where Muslim men are allowed to marry from believing women (people of the book) Quran 5:5, only Muslim men are allowed to marry women from other religions and not vice versa. I am a devoted Muslim in an interfaith relationship with advanced plans for marriage and I will not put pressure on my fiancée to convert.

{Fadhili Msuri}

Counselor’s Take:

Islam is founded on and derives its doctrines from the Quran and is usually straight forward presumably to reduce possibilities of misinterpretation. The issue of marriages between Muslims and persons from other religions is discussed in ‘Surah 5:5’ where Muslim men are allowed to marry women from other religions.

However, there are some reservations about a Muslim woman marrying into other religions as was once explained to me by a Deputy Imam several years ago. According to him, there are substantial differences between Islam and Christianity and these are likely to play out and have certain undesirable effects on a marriage.

He was categorical that if a Christian woman is married into an Islamic family, she would have no trouble fitting in because there are many similarities between both religions and she may be encouraged but would not be compelled to convert to Islam. However, all children born of that marriage would be presumably be and out rightly expected to proclaim Islamic faith.

However, the Quran is straight forward and forbids Islamic women from getting married to men from other religions. The Imam explained that if a Christian man desired to marry a Muslim woman, she would have trouble in the marriage right from the word go because unlike Muslims, Christians do not believe in many of the Islamic doctrines such as the holy month of Ramadhan, the dressing code, procedures for preparation of some foods and behavior in places of worship among others.

Again, the family would certainly prevent the woman from raising her children in an Islamic setting thus would cause a conflict in the family which is against Islamic doctrines that seek to protect and ensure the wellbeing and stability of families.

In this case and if you are still focused on marrying that lady, you may be encouraged to convert to Islam before a marriage is accepted and officiated between the two of you. It would certainly be a big decision but for the marriage to work, this is the only way.

 If you are not willing to convert then take time and find a more suitable partner. This is a tough choice and it calls for serious reflection on how far you are willing to go with regard to this. I have tried as much to choose my words on this issue but the bottom line is that when it comes to issues such as these, often hard line stands are taken and you are the one who will have to bend over backwards if you are to carry on with this relationship. {Taurus}