When he is boring on the first date

Last week’s piece provoked many men and women who have gone through a boring date and lived to tell. Many women accused me (rightfully) of bias. In the piece, I only made a case for boring women and overlooked the fact that sometimes the man can be just as boring as a cold jail wall.

Today, let me call out on boring men. I know them. Every night you see them in a club drinking what are regarded as female drinks. Personally, if I ever saw a man drink a Kingfisher, Smirnoff Black or Red Ice, Reds, Snapp or wine in the bar, that man is a plain bore. I always want to punch them in the face. So, ladies, if man goes for any drink that is classified as feminine, run for your dear life.

Mental anguish 

I know the kind of mental anguish women go through if they end up with a boring man on a date. Women have the natural responsibility to nurture any man’s ego. They come fitted with the software that ensures they never offend a man. At least not on the first date when they are eating his food. Even in bed, men who are less endowed often get a self-esteem boost when a woman makes a little necessary noise. But on a hopeless date, a woman can do so much.

The most appalling thing about dull people is their self-unconsciousness of the very fact that they are wee bit creepy and scare all the wits out of a woman. Boring men are mostly quiet on the first day, and expect things to work themselves out. Easy-does-it. Like they will buy the food and alcohol and hooray! Life does not work that way. You have seen the type of man with his phone logged into social media in a restaurant. The woman takes the clue and too logs into social media.

Boring men brag about their material things on the first day. There is nothing else they will talk about other than their car, their house, their gadgets and what they do for their siblings. Everything but anything sensible towards their date.

This mostly can attract gold diggers and women mostly desperate for marriage, especially to a well-heeled man. Such men scarcely know the right topics to drive the woman into his ‘box’. They never know the first date is to get to know each other better and the woman should do more of the talking, as he encourages her to open. Boring men want to take a woman to bed as soon as the first lunch is done. Any sensible woman hates being taken so cheaply and being seen as loose. That is the very reason no self-respecting woman can tell you the number of men she has had in her life, what we often call body count.

I will urge men to be thoughtful on the first date. Stop using the phone too much. Some calls can wait. Show some respect and log out of the social media. Attempt humour but don’t force it. If you are not a humorous person, share the best anecdotes in your life, from school or the work place. Nudge her to talk — she should do at least 60 per cent of the talking. Be a good listener, dropping a compliment where necessary. And go slow on the liquor on the first day. I think I should start a dating academy to teach these young men how to live and date outside social media.

@nyanchwani

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