The many hats of the modern woman

From our homes to our workplaces, we are surrounded by ‘the modern woman’. She is different from her predecessors in radically changing ways.

This lady could be a world leader if she sets her sights on it. She could be a Nobel Peace Prize winner if she fights for what she believes in. Or she could be the gentlest, most nurturing mother that brings up brilliant children. And she can do it all at the same time, too.

Gone are the days when women were put into a box, and with revolutions for gender equality, they are creating their own spaces and inspiring generations with the moves they make.

What are some qualities of today’s woman?

SHE IS THE CORPORATE QUEEN

Women joined the labour force later than their male counterparts, and since then, they have been working to break outdated stereotypes that suggest they would only belong at home.

Lizz Ntojira, a communications expert charms with her professionalism. She has clearly perfected the art of navigating the corporate scene, and she shares her lessons through her book, YouthCan.

The 37-year-old is a corporate queen, as demonstrated through her lustrous career and multiple senior leadership roles. Her experience includes various roles in the public, private and international development sectors.

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Currently, she is the Director of Communication & Engagement at WomenLift Health, where she leads the design and implementation of a complex strategy addressing global partner engagement; advocacy and strategic communications to raise awareness about women’s leadership and create a compelling case for change and most importantly, encourage and support concrete actions by women, male allies and influencers for equality in health leadership.

She has been featured in international magazines like Elle Italy and does not shy off from sharing her wisdom.

“When it comes to corporate communications, I have learned that you are always on deadline. It is not about the perceived glitz or glamour of the industry - it is about getting work done within stringent timelines,” Lizz says about her corporate journey.

She adds that her role pushes her to think outside the box and stay ahead through lots of reading, research and understanding new trends.

Her humble roots push her to fight for the oppressed at every step of her career.

“Being a child of civil servants who were posted all over the country, including in Nairobi and rural towns in northern and central Kenya, I grew up witnessing first-hand the injustices faced by vulnerable and minority groups – especially girls and women, she says of the hard lessons she learnt growing up.

“From girls being denied an education and married off so that their bride price could be used to educate their brothers; to women being denied the right to own land; to the reverse ageism and outright sexism that suppresses the contributions of young women in the workplace, all around us are reminders of a world in which injustice is the norm. That is what ignites my passion to advocate for equality and justice for all, in my day-to-day work.”

Women rarely speak up at the workplace, Lizz notes with concern, urging young women to speak up, and confidently, regardless of odds faced.

And even though she is a leader at work and in every space she occupies, her family grounds her and remains her biggest motivation. She says on the phone that even though she is a corporate queen, she still loves to be in her feminine energy when at home, where she dots on her family and enjoys cooking for them. 

“I have learned from my husband how to not give up even while in a tough situation. The essence is to go through the grind and to know how to counter those challenges,” Lizz adds.

“My mother is also a source of inspiration. Knowing exactly where to push hard and where to slow down is something I have imbibed from her. You don’t have to react to every situation - as she always puts it. From my son, I have learnt to just enjoy life and relish in the moment!”

SHE IS A MOTHER

A scroll through Maureen Waititu’s social media and one of the first things you will notice about her is that she is a mother.

On special days, like birthdays, the children are often all dressed up, have fresh haircuts and all, and are on their way to an adventure of a lifetime.

From staycations to vacations, to elaborate parties, down to the big warm hugs; her two young sons get all their mother’s love showered on them.

Although she wears many hats as a public figure, including her Law Degree, Content Creation and works as a corporate MC, one Maureen wears most proudly is that of “mama boys” as she often calls herself on social media and YouTube.

“Motherhood to me means that I have been given custody of my children, whom I know do not necessarily belong to me but to God. And my work is to refine them, guide them, teach them about life and God; and finally release them into the world as productive, good men,” she says about being a mum.

On whether being a mother changed her priorities in life, she adds: “It is hard to tell what life could have been like if I was not a mum. But in terms of knowing that I do not live just for me, that changed; because any decision I make, no matter how small, involves thinking of two other people who call me mummy.”

Things changed, and after having her children Maureen had to make long-lasting decisions and become more selfless, considering their needs heavily.

“I think if I was not a mum, I would just be floating, gallivanting,” Maureen says with a giggle before adding, “Now I have to make sacrifices and do what I need to do for these two little guys.”

Motherhood does not have a manual, she says, and it is a journey that involves learning along the way.

“For those who do not have children yet, my prayer is that they work on themselves so that they do not raise children who would have to recover from their childhoods. So many broken people are raising broken children, and maybe they are not even aware.”

She adds, “If you ever find yourself on a path of motherhood, I think it’s important to work on yourself so that you can break all the cycles that would come with non-healing or non-awareness. Motherhood can sometimes be messy, it can make you doubt yourself a thousand times a day, the guilt, the intrusive thoughts, but just do your best and leave the rest to God.”

SHE IS CHILD-FREE

While motherhood is fulfilling for many, the modern woman makes solitary, progressive decisions, and sometimes her choices are less common in our conservative African society- like being child-free.

The child-free lifestyle is becoming increasingly popular with Millenials and Gen Z’s. Individuals and couples who choose it opt to find their life’s purpose in other ways besides parenthood.

“The term ‘child-free’ has existed since the early 1900s, although it was not until the 1970s that feminists began using it more widely, as a way of denoting women who were voluntarily childless as a distinct group. The suffix ‘free’ was chosen to capture the sense of freedom and lack of obligation felt by many of those who had voluntarily decided not to have kids,” BBC reports. 

Ebby Weyime tells Eve that choosing to be child-free meant letting go of society’s expectations of her and going through a period of introspection to decide what she wanted in her life.

“I grew up wanting children, and I did all through my early adulthood. But when I was in my late 20s all that changed. I asked myself ‘Why exactly do I want children? And that led me to write a pros and cons list about it.”

She recalls that the only pro she could think of for wanting children was that she “was curious about how her children will look like.”

Ebby went ahead to undergo a tubal litigation procedure when she was in her late twenties, and now, at 36 does not regret the decision one bit.

“I highly doubt that I would regret my decision not to have children or ever want to change my mind. And even then, my tubes are tied. If I ever felt that need, I think adoption is a beautiful thing,” she adds.

SHE IS REVOLUTIONARY 

When Nobel Peace Prize Laureate Wangari Maathai fought against deforestation, and along with her legacy, preserved the gems that are Uhuru Park and Karura Forest, she was charting a path for the modern woman.

“Prof Maathai decided to act. Virtually alone, personally vilified by the government and shunned by friends, who feared the wrath of the authorities, she waged a high letter-writing campaign. In February 1990, the Times Media Complex was quietly shelved,”  Wanjira Maathai writes in an op-ed on the Green Belt Movement’s official website. 

Years after her bravery and resilience, more women today are not afraid to stand up for what they believe in.

There are more women activists than ever before, and whenever there is a need to stand up for women’s rights, the ladies are relentless. Take, for example, the movement that came after a wave of horrific femicide reports in Kenya early this year.

Women’s groups rallied citizens against gender-based violence, using hashtags across social media including #StopKillingUs, #EndFemicideKe, and #TotalShutDownKe.

Thousands of women took to the streets to march in protest, bringing international attention to the plight of Kenyan women.