I'm wife material, but men don't want to settle down

Hi Chris,

I'm in my early 30s, and, frankly, I'm looking for a husband. No more casual relationships for me, I want to settle down! But somehow I always seem to end up dating men who don't want to get married. And lots of my girlfriends tell me they have exactly the same problem. So what's going wrong? Have men given up on marriage? Or are we missing something, and letting the men who are willing to commit slip through our fingers?

The Marrying Kind

Chris says,

Hi, The Marrying Kind!

You're right, a lot of the men you meet don't want to get married. But there are still plenty who do! So how do you spot the marrying kind? Well, first of all, he needs to be the right age!

There's a critical age at which young men start to think about getting married, generally soon after they first feel properly established in their career, and are able to stand on their own two feet. A man who hasn't reached those milestones isn't likely to marry anyone anytime soon.

Date men who're close to their 'age of commitment'. Who's also become jaded about the 'singles scene' and the attractions of one-night stands? Men who're ready for marriage have begun to think that they're too mature for that sort of thing.

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But a few years after that, a man's willingness to commit starts declining again. So that by his late 30s, he's become a 'confirmed bachelor,' who likes coming and going as he pleases.

OK, there are exceptions, like an older man who lacks social skills! So if you're willing to help him shine, he'll be a very loyal husband. As will an older man who's been married before. He's much more likely to marry you than a man who's been single all his life.

Date men who have similar values and interests to you, because if your backgrounds and education match you're much more likely to marry. And check out his friends and siblings. If they're mostly married, he'll be a much better bet!

Men also always want to marry someone they feel proud of. And the time when that matters most is your first few minutes together. So work on making a good first impression. A friendly open smile, good posture, and smooth and relaxed movements.

And 'dress like a wife!' Understated clothes that say you know your way around socially, and are someone he'll be happy introducing to his friends.

You'd be amazed at how important this is. Men start deciding whether to bed or wed a girl within minutes. And later, when they tell you how they knew, they'll very often mention her clothes.

All the best,

Chris