The stigma surrounding CDs (aka condoms)

Health experts world over say male condoms is one of the most affordable, easy to use and widely used contraceptive that also offers best protection against pregnancy and the spread of HIV and Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs).

However, the users are being forced to invent means of accessing and buying condoms because of the stigma associated with these contraceptives. Many people still fear being spotted purchasing, or with condoms because of the lopsided perception they are most likely immoral.

It is because of this fear that James Obare cannot openly purchase condoms. This is despite the fact that he opted to use condoms as a family planning method following an advice from a health expert at Mbagathi District Hospital.

"Our first three children were poorly spaced and therefore decided my wife should go for an implant as contraceptive to prevent unwanted pregnancy. Unfortunately, the implant reacted negatively and she started developing complications," he begins.

Obare and his wife went back to the doctor and after discussion, they all settled on the use of male condoms.

So, how does he access condoms yet he fears buying them openly? Obare shares that the doctor at Mbagathi hospital gave him a pack of tens of condoms to use. The following three months it was good. But the problem appeared when they got finished. He explains, "I made several trips to local shop and chemist, but every time l tried buying a pack of condoms, my mouth asked for chewing gums, biscuits and across the counter drugs like Panadol, Hedex and Mara Moja."

One day, they were real in need of condoms, and Obare walked to the shop nearby to get some. All this time, his wife was ready, happily and singing a gospel song, Baraka za Bwana ni za Ajabu waiting for him for she'd missed sex severally for lack of condoms. When he entered with Panadol, she almost tore him with her teeth.

Alex Macharia also suffers same stigma. He says cannot buy condoms from shops or chemists which are managed by an aged woman, man or ladies for fear of what they will think of him. "The only times l have comfortably bought condoms is when l found a young man of my age in the shop and in a far away shop," says a 25 years old man.

At times, Macharia spends a lot to get them delivered to his doorstep. He discloses, "There was an occasion l badly needed condoms and couldn't master enough courage to buy at the shop near our estate. I called boda boda rider and send after paying him Sh 200 yet l needed only two packets of condoms worth Sh 80."

One evening Macharia had gathered strength to buy but as he pointed at a pack of condoms on the shelves, he heard a voice of a lady's friend greet him from behind. He quickly point at steel wool, which he was given. After exchanging greetings he left with steel wool. He says, "I felt very stupid but thank God l managed to conceal what l wanted to purchase."

Job Inoti is no different, but he rescued by his wife. He says his wife is a carefree woman who can do anything under the sun. "I normally send her and she buys without a problem. But sometimes she resists saying l too should go. When it comes to this, l give her extra money to buy something she prefers like soda or biscuits," he boasts.

Mary Nyambane is also another lady who can buy condoms without a problem. But she insists it must be at a place where she is not known. She says developed courage buying condoms openly during her days in the campus.

"You see in campus we were a group of girls who liked partying. So every time we went out, we made sure we had them, just in case there's need and the man doesn't have," she says.

She adds, she was also taught during a security training that it is wise to carry condoms, and can even negotiate with rapists if they must rape her to use to protect her from HIV or STIs. Alfred Makana who runs a chemist in Kangemi confirms many people still fear buying condoms in the open. "I sell condoms but l can tell you the number of people who walks here and ask for condoms without fear is less that 20 per cent. The rest will come and beat about the bush before asking for them," he says.

Makana says people come with interesting stratagems when they want to purchase condoms. There are those who use a very different coded language that anyone standing nearby cannot recognize what they are asking for. In many areas condoms are referred to as CDs. And, Makana has two guys who have since changed CDs (condoms) into DVDs. He knows when they come for condoms, because they will ask, "Nipe DVD, Nibebe ya Rose Muhando (Give me Rose Muhando's DVD title Nibebe)." He then go behind the shelves, wraps well and gives them.

He explains that when they want studded condom, they ask for 'DVD ya Rose Muhando yenye iko na scratches' (a Rose Muhando scratched DVD). And Maurice Mwangi who is employed to sell drugs in a chemist in Kianda Kibera had a different experience. Mwangi recalls that one day, two street boys came to the chemist with money asking to buy condoms.

At first he declined wondering what they wanted to do with condoms. He explains, "I had sold drugs in a chemist for over six years but this was the only time chokora were coming to buy condoms." Then he remembered one day he saw chokora playing with condom like a balloon. At this point he warned them that condoms are dirty, and should instead go to a nearby shop and buy balloons.

But the chokoras insisted they had been send condoms not balloons. "I told them to call whoever had sent them," he says. The chokoras went and returned with a piece of paper scribed, 'Give them three packs of condoms-Jemo, door No. 14.' It is then that Mwangi realized who wanted the condoms and sold them to street boys. He watched, amused as street boys went and gave them to whoever had send them.

He says many go to buy condoms very late in the evenings especially weekends. Despite being late hours, some still put on caps and dark goggles to hide their identity.

Mwangi says although there are commercials about condoms use the minds of people are still fixed and associate them with immorality. "You cannot blame people for their fears because that is what the society is driving them at," says the chemist.

But there are those who don't care buying condoms anywhere. Peter Chetambe is one of them. He says, for years, he's bought condoms from various shops, supermarkets and chemists, openly. "Buying a condom is not a crime, so why fear. People should understand we use them as family planning methods and it is high time they stopped associating condoms with immorality," he advises.

Chetambe continues, "I do it in the open and they talk about it. But l know they do it in the dark. There's no difference."

He recalls one day he went to the shop and found two guys who looked unsure of what they wanted to buy. He ordered three packs of condoms, the two other guys also ordered theirs. It is then that he realized they were afraid to buy openly.

Chetambe however, agrees that he always see both men and women next to him exchanging glances seeing him pay for condoms at the supermarket's counter. He laughs at men who fear purchasing condoms in the open.

Amos Mutuku of Umoja has his own way of buying condoms. He walks with a small handbag and has specific designated area where he purchases his. He explains, "I go to the shop and throws the small handbag inside and tells the shopkeeper, Niwekee dawa tatu. The shopkeeper understands the language." Amos then walks few metres away and once he's sure the shopkeeper has stashed the condoms inside the small bag, comes, pay and go his way.

One day, the male shopkeeper was away and his wife was in charge of the shop. Amos came as usual and chucked the small bag inside the shop and ordered, "Niwekee dawa tatu." The lady inquired which drugs. Amos was shocked. "I was shocked and told the lady politely, it is your husband who understands the language of men. I will talk to him later," he said.

Amos left and returned later in the evening after the man came back.

Many people, especially men who spoke to this write explains that there were good times when condoms were being displayed in public toilets, and it was easy to go and pick.

"I used to purchase my lot from various dispensers from public toilets in town, where l was only required to insert a Sh 20 coin and condoms came out. Those dispensers were however tampered with and no longer work, and giving us a lot of troubles and challenges accessing condoms," said a frustrated man.