Living together sounds good on paper until you can’t get off each other’s necks.
You start to fantasize about moving out or even breaking up so you can have your own space to do whatever you want.
Not a one size fits all scenario, this may or may not work because several factors come into play.
And while it may be the new normal especially with young couples, cohabitation takes a lot of work from both parties.
Whether it was a gradual move to the next step of your relationship or it was to bring your financial muscles together, you will have to overcome certain challenges.
Here are some issues you may have to deal with once you decide to move in together.
i. House chores
If you’re like me, a filthy house is a deal breaker. So you can imagine living with a partner who could care less about dirty dishes or picking after themselves. While it was fine to visit their untidy apartment every other weekend, living in one could be a big problem.
If this issue goes unresolved, who does what and when, the stress can lead to a breakup. Communicate your expectations to each other, compromise and create a system that favours you both.
ii. Sex issues
Since it is hardly discussed, many couples find themselves at loggerheads when their sex drives and expectations don’t match. If you used to meet over the weekend and have sex that may change once you move in.
You will find one partner wants to get down and dirty every other day while the other prefers having scheduled sex like on Sundays only.
If not handled well this will lead to resentment, arguments and fears of being a mismatch may start creeping in.
iii. Alone time
Personality differences will dictate how much alone time you need once you’re living together. While it may be good to wake up next to each other every morning, there comes a point you want some space to be in your own world doing your own things.
You must communicate and compromise so that the person who doesn’t require some alone space doesn’t feel neglected or left out.
iv. Annoying behaviours
When you get to live with someone you will get to them properly. And this includes their little quirks like leaving their socks in the sitting room or not putting the toilet seat down after reminding them over and over again to do it.
What was once bearable now becomes annoying and if not checked with proper communication can be a deal breaker.
v. Money
Before the excitement clouds your judgement, you need to sit down together and discuss finances. Who will pay for what?
Don’t just assume that money will surface at the end of the month by some miracle when you’re both jobless and struggling to stay afloat.
You also need to have a serious discussion about savings, investments and spending habits. Failure to do so can be the end of your relationship as trust issues start to pop up.