Men, stop trying to understand us and take us as we are. Trying to comprehend all the facets that make me me, will only confuse you further. Allow us to lead you on this wild ride that is womanhood.
Let’s take a look at these so called weird habits that you might not understand.
1. Getting angry but refusing to address the issue
Sometimes I want kubembelezwa before I tell you what has made me angry. Sometimes I expect you to know why I’m upset. And other times if I opted to speak up, I (or you) might regret it.
Solution: Just apologise. If you’re lucky I’ll eventually explain the origin of my anger.
2. Making a big deal out of small things
It could be that I’m hormonal or that I’m upset at someone and you happen to be the one I take it out on. Or you wronged me in the past, we didn’t address it, and now you’ve pushed me to the wall.
Solution: Just let me vent. Most times I will feel better afterwards and go back to my angelic self.
3. The ‘Do I look fat in this?’ trap
The answer to this question is and will always be no. Even if I do look fat, tell me the dress is okay but am I 100% comfortable in it. Chances are I’m not and I might rethink my outfit.
4. ‘How do I look’, another trap
Never say fine. Try, ‘You look gorgeous, babe’ or such monikers. Fine denotes that I look like any other woman on the street. No girl wants to feel like she looks like any other girl on the street, particularly when she probably spent days picking an outfit and hours getting ready.
5. Acting hormonal
Okay, short biology lesson. A normal, healthy woman has a monthly cycle which is characterised by the rise and fall of certain hormones. This often results in our moods changing sometimes multiple times in a day. So please, don’t tell me that I’m acting hormonal. I know I am. Understand me and either leave me alone or give me a hug depending on which part of my cycle I am on.
6. Getting upset when you compliment another woman
Even though I might have commented on how hot another woman is, you are not allowed to agree with me. I am your woman and you should only have eyes for me. Bonus points if you hug me and whisper, ‘Not as hot as you’!
7. Involving my friends in every aspect of my life
A woman’s friends are like her third eye, ready to point out when she is being dumb or when she has made a boss move. Understand that there will be some of my friends who know everything about my life and what I discuss you with. However, they might know everything about me but it doesn’t mean that I make my decisions based on what they say, dating you included.
8. Reading too much into texts
One worded texts often denote disinterest. I know you might be extremely busy, probably in a meeting with your boss or a potential client, but I expect a lengthier reply. If you can’t write me some good prose there and then, tell me so and then make sure that when you do get free time, you send me a lengthy text.
This also goes for the many questions I might send you. You are required to reply to every section of my message.
9. Sometimes we like it rough, other times 'handle with care'
I once read a post where an old man said that being married to his wife was like spending a lifetime with many different women (or something like that). There will be days or moments when I want a cuddle and to be called darling or baby. And there will be moments when I want you to grab my braids or leave a hicky on my neck.
10. I have nothing to wear but my closet is overflowing
This basically means that I don’t feel inspired by anything currently in my closet. You can help by picking an outfit for me and telling me how much you like me in that dress. That might help. Alternatively, I will just go shopping and add more clothes to my already overflowing closet.
What would your house say about you if it were asked for a reference?