We no longer sulk after break-ups

Cheers to all the women who have developed a heart of steel to counter men's emotions of steel. Nothing brings joy to my face as much as the look of uncertainty on a man's face when he realizes women are no longer begging for his love.

At some point, men had perfected the art of breaking hearts as if God created them, released them to the earth and whispered in their ears, "Go ye and break some hearts."

Whoever woke women up from the slumber of sulking after a break up deserves a trophy and a slot in the Guinness Book of World Records.

This thought sends me back to my days as a fresher in this world of love. I was a naïve First Year student at a college in Ongata Rongai and before I could even locate where the dining hall was during orientation, one short, dark and plump fellow had already fallen head over heels in love with me.

I am not sure whether it is me he really loved or the bright future I had behind me. By the way I was very endowed at some point in life, that was until I started sitting on hot slabs heated by the scorching sun in the stadium watching football.

The hot slabs burnt the calories off my behind and before I knew it, the once bright future I had on my back was in a stiff competition with my almost invisible tummy. That ended my relationship with the stadium.

Back to my first year love, this man had all the habits a woman would dread but still my poor self-fell in love. He would drink himself silly, pluck flowers from the campus fence and stagger all the way to my hostel then start banging on my door as late as 1am holding the flowers as he sang at the top of his voice.

One night, he headed for the wrong flowers which I suspect had bees that were on night shift. Let's just say that by the time he was knocking on my door, I could barely see his eyes, they had disappeared deep between the valleys and the hills on his face.

But still, I opened the door, took the flowers and escorted him to his room promising to marry him as usual. By the way, I was serious about marrying him until he broke my heart.

Just when I thought that our relationship was built on a rock, a year had passed and there was a new bunch of equally naïve First Year students who took his attention away from me. I cried myself silly.

My attention shifted from my lecture rooms to spying on him day and night. To make matters worse, his new catch was immediately crowned 'Miss College' and given the name 'Beauty with Brains' by everyone.

I resorted to skipping meals and crying myself to sleep every night as I sent him love messages hoping he would reply. Thank God those were the pre-smart phone days  because I bet he would have blocked me for nagging. I even bought him a huge birthday cake which he ate with Miss Beauty With Brains. Still, he never came back to me.

Now I look back and I truly think mine was beauty without brains! Why was I acting so desperate? I am better and wiser and because of this, I salute all women who have perfected the art of moving on!

It's never a matter of life and death, when you fall, just get up and dust yourself off, if possible throw a huge party with a cake with his face printed on it and feast on it mercilessly. Go back to the market fresh and clean!