Why men change after getting what they want

Dear

I don’t know whether this is right or not but I am 34 and in love with a 27-year-old guy. I picked him from the streets, started feeding him and let him stay in my place. He found a way into my heart and knows how to make me feel special.

I have tried to start two businesses for him but they collapsed within months and he has really changed lately. I think he is using some illegal stuff because he is usually on the edge and sometimes just keeps to himself. When we fight he brings out the age issue and calls me “old” which irritates me.

The trouble is I recently found out I am pregnant. Now my business is going down because I am confused and cannot concentrate. I don’t know what to do. I think I love him, but he doesn’t seem to appreciate it any more. Please advise...{Nina}

Your Take

He did not come asking for your love in the first place. You mistook his intentions and that is why he has no respect for the relationship you two have. It must be hurting to see the guy you picked from the streets turning against you. There is only so much you can do for a drug addict and that is to let him go. Accept the fact that you may get a child out of wedlock, concentrate on your business and focus ahead before he ruins your life forever.

{Lucy Omondi}

Marriage is an institution and it should be respected by all parties, you should not let that pregnancy tie you down to an abusive marriage and a thankless ‘drug addict’, who instead of thanking you for what you have done, is busy insulting you.

Go and look for a man of your age and class. While drug addicts need our love, support and care, your lover has demonstrated he doesn’t give a hoot. He is biting the hand that feeds him and maybe he has found another sweetheart that is why he is calling you old woman. Pregnancy is a sensitive period so you need to relax otherwise you will lose your baby.

{Loise Wangendo}

Love is blind and definitely knows no boundaries. Being in love with a man who is seven years younger than you is not the real issue here. There is nothing to hold on to if he is a junkie. He belongs in the streets so let him go back there.

You can make it in life alone. Life will be better without him. Picking the guy from the streets and taking care of him was very nice of you, but you went too far! You shouldn’t have gone to bed with him. Look for a mature man of your age. Don’t mind what people will say about the baby. We all make mistakes but we should learn from them.

{Gabriel Preston}

This guy does not love you at all and is only staying with you because you are supporting his day-to-day lifestyle. He also knows that you are desperate of being called a wife and more so a mother and that’s why he is treating you like this. He is an opportunist out to suck you dry. The best thing you can do is to throw him out. Your Mr Right is still on the way coming. {Ivy Nzilani}