I am 32 and I have a boyfriend who is 29. I recently cleared college and I am now working. He is however still in college and I am starting to doubt this relationship. I don't know if I should remain committed to him because I think the age difference is starting to get in the way. I think the three year age difference is too much since at times I honestly think he's not ready for a relationship or even to settle down. Should I quit this and look for someone who is my senior? {Purity}
Your Take:
If there is genuine love between the two of you then the relationship will blossom and lead to marriage. However, since you are already feeling uncomfortable with his age it is best if you end the relationship early. If it is an issue now then be sure this will happen again in future.
{Lydia Wakonyo}
Younger men come from another world and think differently so you have to expect some differences between the two of you. One good thing is that younger men see the older women they are dating as equals therefore he will accord you a lot of respect and as an equal partner in the relationship. By understanding each other, you can create a relationship that is working for you despite the evident differences.
{Mercy Kagendo}
Age is just but a number and should not be a cause for worry. Your worry should be if that guy truly loves you. It would be prudent for you to ask him what he has in mind about the two of you. Give him enough time and freedom to open his mind up to you. You may also share your thoughts with him. After this you can compare his thoughts and see if they match up to yours and make a decision on that.
{Fred Jausenge}
A woman’s ability to successfully date a younger man is an indication of her independent mind. Such relationships often create intense chemistry between the people involved and they make for wonderful relationships. Besides, men dating older women usually have little or no reason to stray.
However, beware that society may not treat your relationship kindly. They will raise eyebrows and call you names such as cougar e.t.c. While age is nothing but a number, you may need to discuss your plans and priorities to see if you are reading from the same page.
Otherwise I encourage you to find someone who is more mature than you as they would be more compatible.
{Andrew Didy Chaplin}
Counselor’s Take:
In most instances and when it comes to relationships age is never a big issue. It is only a norm and a perception that the man should always be older than the lady he is dating. It is however not a scientific principle that it should always be. There are quite a number of relationships where the lady is the older and they work just fine. Such relationships have their fair share of challenges but this is just like in all relationships. It is therefore nothing much to worry about and it shouldn’t be a key determinant in deciding the fate of that relationship you are in – at present.
However, in future you may want to make that consideration because age plays a crucial role in relationships and more so in marriage. For solid and long-term relationships it becomes a major factor. You may have heard that women mature faster than men, right?
This is especially true and it so happens that women are usually three or more years ahead of their age in terms of their perspectives on various things while men tend to fall back a year or two to their age. This therefore means that at 24 for example, you are likely to be thinking in the league of a person three or more years your senior.
You may therefore find the guys in your age bracket a little childish and really not in your league. This is indeed true because at 24 you would be considering a serious relationship leading to marriage, career progression, and investments e.t.c. while a guy of that age is likely to be thinking about the next all-night-party and how many girls he wants to be with at the same time. You may therefore find such a person to be somewhat not in your league and very little substance about them would fascinate you.
For now, be aware that you will kiss many other frogs before you find your prince charming. This is just but a good friendship not so much a relationship as you put it. Besides, you may want to wait and date a few other men to compare the experiences. Nature will propel you to older men and you can compare experiences and from there make informed decisions. {Taurus}