Over the last few years, I have gained weight excessively until now I feel bad about myself. In two years, I have had six girlfriends who I dated and really liked but at some point they just left me. I think it has to do with my weight. I am now 115Kgs. I have not had sex in one year and get scared when I think of undressing in front of a woman.
I also feel so small down there and fear ladies may get a low opinion of me based on my size. When I was younger and lighter, I enjoyed sex but now it is like torture. I need your help in losing this weight. I want to go back to the 80Kgs I was and have my life back.
{Joel}
Your take:
Your worries and low self-esteem will give you more weight and eventually kill you. Take charge of yourself by appreciating what and who you are then take practical steps towards cutting on your weight by exercising bit by bit. Talk to a nutritionist and get expert advice. Also, there are girls out there who will date and love you as you are. I know of a friend who is 125kg but performs great.
{Tasma Charles}
Your main problem Joel is your lifestyle, so seek the help of a dietician and enroll in a gym for regular fitness sessions. Keep in mind that the beautiful ones are not yet born so rather than worry about the ladies, you worry about getting fit first. {Onyango Outha – Jauduny}
Don’t start starving yourself or using performance enhancing drugs or rush into a gym. Rather, consult a nutritionist to advice on a sustainable change of diet so that you lose weight without becoming weak. Good performance mainly depends on positive attitude and confidence. Physical exercises will turn your life around.
{Ben Alwala}
To address this, you must control what you eat, walk at least 15Kms per day and take lots of fluids. You were born a man so be a man and handle them like a man. Talk to your mates also to get some tips.
{Obino Joshua Ochoi}
Joel, you must be very uncomfortable with that weight and I feel your pain but all is not lost. Exercise and eat healthy.
{Faith}
Joel, what you are suffering from is inferiority complex. Do not allow yourself to be troubled especially about your size because size is not everything. The most important thing is your sex drive not size. Self-esteem is what makes you so build confidence in yourself and all will be well.
{Stephen Ramugo}
Counsellor's take:
Joel, weight is always a big issue especially when the gain is rapid and unanticipated. Obesity often leads people to other health complications such as diabetes, increased vulnerability to heart attack, chronic fatigue as well as depression. For many people it lowers their self-esteem and in many instances and especially for men, it has caused erectile dysfunction mainly due to low self-esteem and the depression cycle that actually affects men more than women.
The first thing to do when weight is getting out of hand is to get a nutritionist. A good one will tell you that it is not just what you are eating but also how often as well as the quantities involved. Your diet has to be sorted out as the most immediate action. The next thing is to get ways of burning down calories. Exercise, especially jogging, daily routine walks as well as other bodily exercises will definitely help only if you maintain consistency. Lastly, I encourage you to go out there and get involved with a girl – do not be afraid. If a lady likes you, she would do so for who you are. Get your groove back on and you will realise that with sex, it all starts in the mind not elsewhere.