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Is there a way to spot predators so we can avoid them?

Relationships
 Is there a way to spot predators so we can avoid them? (Photo:iStock)

Hi Chris,

Recently, one of the girls in the office was sexually harassed and it’s set us all talking. Is it possible to spot men who do stuff like that, so we can avoid them?

Harassed

 

Hi Harassed!

It’s difficult to identify potential offenders. Early researchers focused on men who had been convicted, but this proved to be misleading because men in prison are usually involved in many different types of crime. Most men who behave inappropriately towards women aren’t career criminals. In fact, this is likely their only offence.

They come from every community and social group. Married men are just as likely to offend as single men. Personal traits are important: for example, narcissists are much more likely to be sexual predators than empathetic men. Offenders usually start when they’re young, while they’re at school or in their first couple of years at college.

They probably first cross the line with someone they know. Therefore, occasional offenders are much more common on school and college campuses than people realise. Some people commit one or two sexual offences and then stop. Others continue for years.

The difference between one-off and repeat offenders isn’t clear-cut. However, men who express remorse for their actions generally won’t reoffend, while those who blame their victim probably will.

Offenders are more likely to be heavy drinkers and to be aroused by violent pornography. They believe ‘rape myths’, such as ‘no means yes’, use hostile language when speaking about women, and have friends who are also sexually aggressive.

They are also surprisingly open about the issue of consent. While they readily agree that they did not have consent, when asked if what they did was ‘something like rape’, they will almost always say no.

This disconnect from reality is very typical. It’s not that these men deny what happened. They just don’t see that it was wrong.

This is another important trait shared by men who sexually harass or assault. They never admit that they are the problem.

All the best,

Chris

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