The signs your child is being groomed by a predator - which every parent should know

The signs can be hard to identify - here's what you should know

It's a scenario no parent ever wants to envisage.

The worrying truth about child grooming, however, is it's not just the child who's being manipulated by a predator - it's you, the adult, as well.

Which means widespread knowledge of what to look out for is even more crucial.

According to the The Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse, who released a paper on the issue, grooming is defined as:

"The use of a variety of manipulative and controlling techniques with a vulnerable subject...in order to establish trust or normalise sexually harmful behaviour."

To that end, the Royal Commission's paper identifies the hard to detect signs a child is being groomed - and urges parents to familiarise themselves with them.

1. You're being groomed too.

In order to have access to a child, a predator needs to go through their care-givers - and in such a way that they don't arouse suspicion.

It's not always easy to know what to watch out for

What this means is they will need to build a relationship of trust with you, the parent.

"Grooming usually involves a perpetrator establishing a trusting relationship with a child and those associated with the child's care and wellbeing, to create an environment in which abuse can occur, " the report reads.

It's also important to note that the perpetrator most likely won't exhibit behaviours which correspond to what you think are characteristic of a predator.

"The motivation behind the behaviour – to perpetrate or conceal child sexual abuse," the report continues, "was not outwardly visible and it was therefore difficult to recognise the behaviour as grooming."

2. They're disguised as a friend.

It's because of the above - the trust building - that identifying when someone means your child harm is so difficult.

There's a chance an abuser might be part of your social circle

The abuser has established a position in your lives and, as such, "any interaction between the perpetrator and child is seen as legitimate activity, distinguishable only by the perpetrator's motivation to perpetrate or conceal child sexual abuse.

"In this way, grooming is sometimes only discernible after the abuse has been identified because the perpetrator's intent or motivation is not immediately visible."

3. Watch out for presents and "special events"

Nearly every child loves receiving gifts and most adults know it's often an easy way of endearing yourself to them.

While it's perfectly natural to buy gifts for a child you care about, it is also a foil which predator use to get close to their victims while in a role which allows them access to a child.

A predator's method will involve isolating a child

"An example may include a perpetrator targeting children using age-appropriate games or toys," the report explains.

A further indicator is if an adult seems to take "an interest in child play and toys that appear to exceed his or her care-giving role."

This is "institutional grooming" and the perpetrator will use "features unique to the organisational setting to sexually abuse a child".

These may include opportunity, anonymity, secrecy, trust and power.

4. There are three stages to grooming.

The process an abuser puts into action may culminate tragically, but its beginnings are seemingly harmless - such as giving a gift.

Abuse often beings innocuously, with a gesture like giving a gift

However, the process will escalate over time.

The stages which an abuser will put their victim through are as follows:

1. Gaining access to a victim

2. Initiating and maintaining abuse

3. Concealing abuse.

5. An abuser will aim to make a child feel special.

This is essentially in order to isolate the victim.

"Acts of grooming are often undertaken with the aim of making the prospective victim feel 'special' or 'privileged.'

"At the same time, the child knows he or she is engaging in activities that contravene rules, and can therefore be made complicit in maintaining secrecy.

"This complicity can also serve to further isolate the child from others."

Some children are more at risk than others

6. These are the three main categories of abuser.

While there remain several different types of perpetrator, they belong, largely, to three main categories.

The report breaks these down as follows:

Predatory perpetrators are more likely to have a diagnosis of paedophilia and are "persistently and exclusively sexually attracted to children".

Opportunistic perpetrators do not prefer children to adults, but according to the Commission, use children for their own sexual interests.

Situational perpetrators do not have a preference for children, but may abuse a child due to poor coping skills, or the absence of an adult relationship.

It's important to keep the lines of communication open with your child (Photo: Getty)

7. And some children are more at risk than others.

Sadly, some children are in greater danger than others, and the report has identified these categories.

- Children who are socially isolated

- Children who have mental health or behavioural difficulties

- Children who have low self-esteem

- Children have one parent who is continually absent

- Children have been a victim of bullying

- Children who live in a situation of domestic violence

- Children who identify as non-heterosexual or transgender

- Children who have a history of physical, emotional or sexual abuse

- Children with disability.