Ladies, one way or another you'll pay for that "free" drink

She was tall and dark. Not exactly beautiful, but her face was charming. Our eyes had met twice or thrice. One of us had to make the move. Definitely, it had to be me. She danced intermittently to a selected few numbers but she was a bit stiff.

Charmed by her smile and easy mood, I made a move. She was in a clique of seemingly younger women out to have fun. Each had a single beer, mostly beginner beer; I deduced they were college girls.

We exchanged an unexpected hug, like long-lost friends. I ordered a drink for her; she did not decline. We talked briefly, and struck a rapport. Once the server brought her drink, I gave her a chance to enjoy it and dance before I told her what was on my mind. When I started to seduce her, I was startled by what she told me.

“You think just because you bought me a drink, I should give you my number?” She exclaimed, circling her index finger in the air with a repulsive attitude. Very rude.

“Not really, I’m genuinely interested in you,” I said trying to be polite. I was taken aback by her casual disrespect and abuse of my generosity. She sent me away. She had a triumphant look on her face - as if she gets a kick from telling off men in night clubs who ask for her number.

I ordered a huge chunk of humble pie and swallowed it as I left the table. One of her acquaintances, who had seen the unnecessary altercation, followed me to apologize on her behalf. She told me that her friend is a reserved character and never gives out her number. It was ironical that her friend was more polished, prettier than her, and yet did not have the narcissistic attitude of her friend. I was angry.

I have encountered these kind of women before. Women who accept beer offers from men in clubs but refuse to dance with them. Women who wine and dine on man’s bill only to say no to his advances after he has spent a fortune on her.

No man buys a drink or a meal for a woman without an implicit expectation from the woman. The expectation is mostly sexual.

A woman who takes advantage of a man’s generosity and refuses to play ball is rightly a terrorist. Men never feel more suicidal than when they spend a fortune on date only for her to claim that she has to go to her place or it is that time of the month. Men are not charitable organizations. Worse is the woman who accompanies a man to his place but asks to sleep in a separate room or on the sofa because “I’m not ready’’ or “we are moving too fast.”

Why women like to act dumb baffles me. The reason often cited by men for date rape is that the raped woman said ‘yes’ to everything along the way. So why should she say no to the favour the man demands in return? Not that I endorse non-consensual sex. It is ugly and revolting but some women dig their own graves.

I urge women to be sensible and sensitive. If the man does not look like someone they might want to end up in bed with, they can always turn down his advances and tell him to go to hell with his beer or any favour. He will feel bad, but you will save him the suicidal hatred that befalls him when he discovers that the bottle of Amarula he just bought will go down the urinal for naught.