The 3 stages of a relationship

Relationships are important and understanding that every relationship goes through predictable seasons will help individuals cope better and press on during the difficult relational patches, while they enjoy their blissful periods with the realization that it is a season to be enjoyed to the fullest for it lasts only for a season. I could not agree more with the writer of the book of ecclesiasts that “there is a time and a season for everything”.

Do you feel tired of being with the same person and wondering whether you are still in love? Have your love levels gone down, are you craving for the good old days when you spent the weekend doing nothing else but exploring one another and drinking honey? You are not alone, several others wonder whether it is worth while staying in the relationship as the fantasy, romantic stages slowly comes to an end and reality and drama takes center stage. As life goes through various seasons so does every relationship, including marriage.

Every relationship begins with a high dose of love hormones that is a season referred to as dream, fantasy or honeymoon stage.

At this stage hearts are filled with love and passion. This phase lasts  only a while, for some it could be as little as two months for another it could go on up to a maximum of two years according to researchers. A very good place to be in a relationship for lovers who wish this stage could stay forever, for. A study of the mind equates the feeling at this season and in particular when they have physical intimacy as similar to that of one under the influence of heroine! a season often referred to “loving under the influence”.

Individuals are extremely excited and full of life and energy, strength and well-being as a result of the increased endorphin supply. During this period, the relationship is characterised by deep romance, a lot of sex and oneness. For the majority of them, there is always a percentage that will not experience the same. In many ways it tallies with most individuals expectations about marriage.

With time, the relationship begins to mature, sexual energies lessen to give way to energies for other responsibilities. When this happens, many couples wrongly assume that something has gone wrong and their relationship has come to an end. They think that they are no longer in love with their partner, I often here “I do not feel them anymore” when partners go through this cycle. The partners may not feel attracted to one another in the same way they did earlier. There is nothing to panic about simply acknowledge that the relationship is maturing and that you are ready to move to the next level of the relationships which is the

Drama disappointment stage It is rewarding when partners navigate the discovery stage effectively. They view one another in a new light with increased empathy and compassion. They learn to appreciate and respect each other and not to take one another for granted. It is exciting and greatly fulfilling when partners find a balance and grow towards oneness as they enhance their intimacy levels, both individually and collectively.

Regardless of the season, relationships ought to be nurtured at all times. In my opinion, one cannot consider themselves successful by succeeding in only a certain aspect of life. If the family aspect is neglected, it will adversely affect one’s mental status and consequently affect their career, social status and spiritual life. For these reasons, relationships ought to be your number one priority in 2016. Press on!

Enjoy your season - live, love and thrive because you deserve it!

The writer is a relationship coach and author, “Marriage Built to Last.”You can reach her on: www.jenniekarina.co.ke