Cupid can wait: Women choosing careers first

In an era dominated by wedding hashtags and bustling bridal expos, a quiet revolution is unfolding among ambitious women. An increasing number of women are choosing careers over marriage, prioritising professional growth, financial independence and personal fulfilment over societal expectations.

The phrase ‘married to my career’ has evolved from a cliché to a badge of honour for women who prioritise their ambitions. Rather than walking down the aisle, they are climbing corporate ladders, launching start-ups and striving for promotions that recognise their hard work and talent.

Since the 1970s, women’s participation in the workforce has steadily increased, bolstered by greater access to higher education. Today, women are securing positions in fields that were once male-dominated, including technology, finance, medicine, and law. They are earning salaries and enjoying opportunities that match, and often surpass, those of their male peers.

Self-made success often proves more empowering than waiting for a romantic partner. Career-focused women enjoy financial independence, autonomy, and control over their lives without relying on a spouse’s income or support.

“When I was a young girl, I truly believed that marriage was a rite of passage,” says Sally Kihara, a 30-year-old professional. “Growing up, everything, films, stories from older relatives suggested that being married was the path to being whole and happy. But once I completed my education and secured a well-paying job, I realised that I had to love myself first. Being happy in my own solitude makes attracting the right partner much easier. I chose my career first and poured more self-love onto myself, and the right person will meet me halfway,” she adds with a smile.

While broader studies often show married adults report higher overall life satisfaction, a 2023 Pew Research study highlights that single women increasingly value their financial independence and personal autonomy.

Many women are choosing to remain single to avoid the ‘second shift’. Pew research confirms that even in dual-income marriages where partners earn the same, women still shoulder a significantly higher burden of childcare and household chores than their husbands.

For these women, the freedom to pursue career growth and personal passions without an unequal domestic load is a primary driver of their life choices.

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Yet this path is not without its challenges. In many cultures, societal pressure persists, with terms such as ‘leftover women’ and a lingering stigma that frames unmarried professional women as ‘failures’. Although dating apps may encourage the pursuit of ‘high-value’ partners, successful women often out-earn potential mates, which can create tension.

The biological clock adds another layer of complexity, as fertility often declines after the age of 35. This prompts some women to consider balancing their career ambitions with choices such as freezing their eggs or delaying family planning.

Critics argue that glorifying career-first lifestyles risks overlooking the natural desire for partnership and family. However, for many women worldwide, this path is an act of empowerment, allowing them to love their work on their own terms. Being ‘married to your career’ is not anti-love; it is pro-self. It redefines success, proving that women can thrive independently while scripting their own destinies.