How do I get my mojo back?

Hi Chris,

I love my husband, but these days I never seem to be in the mood to make love. And needless to say, that's causing quite a few problems. What can I do to get my mojo back?

Never in the Mood

Hi Never in the Mood!

Almost all women say their mood varies, though they're usually turned on by feeling loved by their partner. Some are aroused by making love somewhere new, or a bit risky. While others are turned off by the thought that they might be overheard, or that the children might wake up.

Anger, anxiety or unhappiness stop some women in their tracks, while others use lovemaking to lift a bad mood or to make up after a fight.

But female desire only ever matches male lust during the few days of the month when they're fertile. You're much more likely to fantasise about sex than, be provocative or take the lead.

Though women are always physically aroused by anything to do with sex, at all times, even when they don't feel interested. But they're rarely aware of their response and don't realise that their body is preparing to make love.

So what should you do if you just never feel in the mood?

Consider going to see your doctor to rule out physical illness, or a counsellor if you think relationship issues might be the problem. And talk to your husband. His support can work wonders, especially if he understands how to make you feel good.

Get him to massage you, or bathe together. Or tease him, with the sort of smile on your face that says he just might have to take you in hand. You'd be surprised how often that will get you into the mood.

Remember that arousal comes before desire, so even if you don't feel like starting anything, you'll start to become physically aroused once you're kissing and cuddling.

And above all, remember that the more often you make love the better. Because nothing stimulates female desire like frequent practice!

All the best,

Chris