In search of the 'big O': Four signs he is poor in bed

Forget about the Vera Sidika and Otile Brown drama and let’s talk about one important thing that is a deal breaker in most relationships – bedroom skills.

There are men who are naturally selfish in bed. All they think is about themselves and once they arrive at their destination, they will shamelessly leave you high and dry.

But the disappointment did not start there in bed, there have been hints all along;

1. The first time he touched you

If he put his hand down your pants immediately when you kissed, then that’s a red flag of someone who may be inexperienced and not exactly sure what he was doing.

But, if he finds his way in between the sheets with you, trust me he is likely to just care about himself. He will not bother to find out if you are on the same page same line with him.

Sex is not meant only to pleasure to the man while the woman curls in horror of being violated and manhandled by thirsty, selfish lovers.

2. He’s a bad kisser

Not everyone is a good kisser. That is OK. We cannot all be good at everything. What is important is that we all try to cater for the needs of our partners.

Sloppiness is a red flag.

If you keep trying to make it work but he is just not getting it, my sister it is time to consider running for your life.

3. His foreplay game is virtually non-existent

Opening acts exist for a reason, especially for women. There are men out there who just want to jump right in. They have not learned the art of seduction and do not bother trying to warm the other partner up, to say the least.

They try a little bit of making out and jamming of hands down the woman’s pants before hurrying to the main event and before the lady eases to it, it’s over. What a shame.

Lovemaking is a process. Your partner’s comfort, enjoyment, and participation in its entirety is key.

4. He only wants things done his ‘way’

There are rigid men out there. If from the onset he puts out his favourites forward or they are what you tend to find yourself always in, be very worried.

It is essential to take note especially if you have told him they do not really work for you or simply want to switch it up and he causes a fuss.

Sometimes a little of experimentation adds that flare to an otherwise boring, routine session. It is always a give and take but if the man is not moved, it could be a worrying hint of a person who is only interested in himself and cares little about his partner.

5. He finishes fast

Sex is not a 100-meter dash. The 42-kilometer road race is essential to get everything and everyone right. If he is pumping away to the beat of his own drum, start to plan your exit.

Do not expect him to stick around to make sure you get your ‘big O.’ Women have needs too and sexual satisfaction is top of that list.

A little consideration of your partner’s desires during the act goes a long way.