Why did you get married?

In Babu Owino’s words, let me say it is obnoxious, belligerent and cantankerous and this has seriously caused consternation, discomposure and discomfiture of spirits to cling onto a ‘marriage’ because of ‘maize’ and ‘beans’, or should I just say githeri?

I am not sure whether it is our generation that is losing it or maybe I am just suffering from paranoia. Put your hand up if you know at least one person who is in a marriage because of githeri. Ok, now put it back down and let’s backbite them.

First of all, I would like to make it clear to Tony that I am not talking about him and the mother of his beans! I know his was a match made in heaven (sic). Lakini Tony you did not have to name her after a football club just because she was a result of football off the pitch! Anyway, I bet your second born will be Mikasa Mochama or better still, Double M!

Oh, someone told me that you mentioned that wazungus love names like mine. Can you picture what my maize and beans will look like if I get a hold of such a mzungu off the pitch? I don’t care whether it will be a home, away or friendly match, all I care about is the product...and NO, I will not stick to an imaginary marriage because of them.

You know, I have never gone anywhere past the borders of Kenya, so I know nothing about wazungus. You were in their land the other day, is it true that they will always cheat on their black women with their fellow whites? If it’s true, then just like malaria, mwanaume ni yule yuleee.

So now let’s go back to backbiting those in imaginary marriages. I personally have five friends who are married to their spouses not because they love each other, but because they want their children to grow up with both parents. If ever they laugh in their homes, then maybe they are laughing at their spouses or with their children.

They feel trapped in their own homes. OK, wait a minute; they have trapped themselves in their own homes. They play parent 100 per cent but play spouse 20 per cent. You can tell that it’s not the kind of marriage they dreamed of while growing up.

Why would you want to please society at the expense of your own happiness? Who lied to you that your children will be happy if you live together yet they see no happiness in either of you? You think you are solving the problem by living together for the sake of your children? In the real, sense you are just postponing the problem. They would rather hear about your divorce or separation from you now than see and participate in it later in life.

The best time to stop a revolution is at the beginning and not at the end. If you do not take the chance now to explain to one maize or beans why you cannot live together now, then be ready to explain to all the cereals later in life why you are leaving.

Sometimes you see single parents walking out there and you go like, “That is not a marriage material.” My friend, let me explain it to you today that being a single parent because you parted ways with your partner does not mean you are not marriageable. It only means that you refused to be what Babu Owino said up there!

A marriage/relationship is like a car; if it runs out of fuel, you do not throw it away, you go to the gas station and refill it. So if your marriage/relationship runs out of love, bring back the love and be happy.

If the love has refused to come back, unless you are a cat that has nine lives, stop trapping yourself with the hope of being happy in your next life. Some people believe in reincarnation and think that once they die, they will come back to this earth and do it differently. What if you come back as a weevil? YOLO!

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