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Hi Chris!
I’ve just had my first baby and everything went well to begin with. But now I’m having the most terrible moods. Sometimes sad or anxious, sometimes fearful or feeling inadequate. And so irritable with my husband! Why am I feeling like this?
Moods
Hi Moods!
You’re suffering from post natal depression (PND). It’s surprisingly common, and can start for no obvious reason at all.
Your symptoms sound typical, and you may have others, like problems with your appetite, sleeping badly, maybe having panic attacks or difficulty concentrating or making decisions. You’re probably anxious about things which wouldn’t normally bother you. You might even find yourself thinking about death.
These thoughts can be very disturbing and will frighten your family. That’s if you can bring yourself to tell anyone about them.
Post natal depression does usually clear up eventually, although it can continue for years and cause you and your family a lot of distress. Especially if they can’t figure out why you’re feeling the way you do. So talk to them about how you’re feeling, and specifically mention the words ‘post natal depression.’ Especially to your husband.
Just the feeling that someone close to you understands will be a huge relief. Tell him that it may take some time for you to recover. And that his love and practical support will make a big difference. Talk to a counsellor, and take your husband with you.
And take care of yourself! Don’t do too much, but exercise will help, as will doing just about anything for the pleasure of it! Including five minutes with your feet up. Ask your husband to help you with all this, and have fun together! Go out for a meal. Be intimate together, even if you don’t feel like sex.
Don’t blame either yourself or him for your feelings. Life’s tough enough anyway and quarrels will strain your relationship just when you need him the most. He’ll want you to help you anyway, once he understands what’s going on. And you’ll recover sooner and be a stronger couple than before.
All the best,
Chris
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