Avoid peer pressure, childbearing is a personal decision

People who spend time together tend to have similar interests. Pregnancy is no different. A study carried out a while back implied that some women get pregnant after their friends also conceived.

After one woman in each friendship had a baby, the likelihood that her friends would also have babies increased. Many mechanisms may explain the pregnancy contagion. The social influence of being surrounded by friends who are parents makes us feel pressure to conform to become a parent. Social learning is another mechanism.

Friends are an important learning source. Becoming a parent is a radical change, and by observing our friends, we can learn how to fulfil the requirements of this new role.

They, therefore, become more willing to become parents. Cost-sharing dynamics might be at play as well as having children at the same time as one’s friends may come with some advantages. Being the only childless couple within a group of friends who have children may lead to isolation. Thus exposure to and interaction with your friends’ children may increase your desire to have a baby.

But don’t wait for pressure before having a baby. Many biological and social variables come into play before anyone can get pregnant. You need to be aware of such variables and make your own appropriate decisions on the timing of childbearing.

You are more likely to conceive and have a healthy baby when in the optimal reproductive age. Beware of the natural biological decline in pregnancy rates after the age of 35. Make decisions and have your babies in good time. If not, the optimal reproductive window may elude you, proving too costly to have a baby much later on.

If you, after making attempts, find yourself not getting pregnant in good time, you should seek help promptly. A comprehensive fertility evaluation will establish the reason behind the delay in getting pregnant.

Once the diagnosis is made, appropriate interventions should lead to conception. Some only require simple interventions to get pregnant. Others may require complex fertility treatments before eventually conceiving.

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Yet others may not be too lucky and may end up either accepting to be childless or adopting. Beware your friends may not be ready for a pregnancy. They may also be facing infertility challenges. Be sensitive to those around you even when you think they should join the pregnancy bandwagon.

Dr Alfred Murage is a consultant gynaecologist and fertility specialist.