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Dear reader, thank you for asking this question. It seems that many societies have passed down the idea that masturbation is harmful. In reality, study after study has found that there is nothing wrong with masturbation. In fact, from a mental health perspective, it is considered to be a normal part of human sexual development and behavior. Now, just because something in itself is not harmful does not mean that it can not become harmful when misused.
When can masturbation be harmful If we are to think about masturbation as just another sexual tool at our disposal, it may be easier to conceptualise that our choice in how we use that tool is really what renders it useful or useless.
As an example, a fork is meant to be used as a tool for eating and so really, it's neither good nor bad. However, if you were to use it to stab someone, that would make your misuse of that fork the problem, and not the fork itself. With that in mind, here are a few ways in which masturbation can be harmful, when misused.
If a person is avoiding or neglecting their life responsibilities e.g. work or school so they can have more time to masturbate, that would be turning it into harmful sexual behavior. Part of the human experience is participating in and contributing to our societies; we must go to school, do our chores, run our businesses, pay rent, interact with our neighbors and so much more. Avoiding these aspects of living so you can masturbate is unhealthy in the sense that it brings imbalance into your life.
If a person is unwilling to engage with others because all they want to do is stay back and masturbate, then that would be harmful. This is because human beings thrive when they can connect with other humans beings. If you'd rather masturbate than visit with family or friends, then you're denying yourself the chance for growth, connection and development in other aspects of your life, which leads to an imbalanced life.
If a person can only experience sexual pleasure from masturbation and not from their sexual partner, then that person will experience imbalance in their sexual/romantic relationship. The sexual experience cannot be fully satisfied in isolation because, again, human beings do best when connected to others sexually and non-sexually.
Cutting off your partner because you want to masturbate is the opposite of that. PS: This does not refer to couples who are open about masturbation, as part of their sex life. This refers to those who keep it secret from their partners; the secrecy of it is a major part of the problem.
If a person feels consumed by thoughts of masturbation, where they engage in it or not, then that can become a problem. An over abundance of thoughts – regardless of the subject of the thoughts – will likely lead to an over abundance of action based on those thoughts. Obsession is also an unhelpful distraction from other things that need our attention.
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