Are there any faithful men left?

Hi Chris,

Someone told me the other day that monogamy’s quite uncommon around the world. Is that really true? And for sure there’s lots of cheating going on. So is there any point in trying to find a faithful man?

Faithful

Chris says,

Hi Faithful!

It’s true, that monogamy is uncommon. In one survey of over 1,200 societies around the world, less than 200 were monogamous. Polygyny’s common wherever land is plentiful, or its ownership’s vague, and where women till the land with hoes.

Monogamy develops wherever land is farmed by men using ploughs, or a modern urban economy is developing. Because it does have a lot going for it in those circumstances, despite all the cheating.

For example, successful monogamous parents teach their children good values, such as trustworthiness, honesty and kindness. They teach them how to control their impulses, to work hard, and to believe in their abilities. children also seem to be happiest when their parents have a close, loving relationship with one another and can resolve the inevitable conflicts.

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But you can’t simply tell your children what to do. Because it’s not what you tell them that influences your children, it’s what you do.

And especially what their father does. Because it does help children to have their father around. And despite men’s bad reputation, their contribution to the family is very important. Fathering and mothering are different, and children seem to need both.

And a good father shows his children what being a man is all about. Both boys and girls use their father’s behaviour as a role model on which they base their adult lives.

Children need to see their father competing hard, succeeding among men, being trustworthy, loving his wife and being firm, but affectionate with his family. So it is worth finding a good man and sticking with him!

All the best,

Chris