The women issues everyone ignores in Kenya

If you ask me, I think there are too many people purporting to be speaking for women and they are not doing a decent job.

We have far too many politicians, NGOs, professional groups, lobbyists and foreign embassies fighting to get a word in about women empowerment.

Even the normally tightfisted government is throwing wads of notes at our sisters. But because the cooks are so many, no one is bothering about salt.

Take sanitary pads for instance. Everyone is running around giving schoolgirls free sanitary towels. But it hasn't occurred to us that if you are too poor to afford pads, you most likely can't afford innerwear?

How these benefactors expect our daughters to use free sanitary pads when they have no panties is beyond me. If you think I am joking, then you don't read newspapers.

Half of the underage girls who get defiled by pests calling themselves businessmen in rural markets succumb to the beady-eyed men's charms because the rascals give them panties worth Sh20.

That aside, am shocked that something more fundamental were not discussed in both chambers of Parliament. According to my sources, there is a certain brand of alcohol that causes women serious headache.

When a woman hammers three of them, and there is no man sitting with them, they will go home with anything in trousers.

Beats me why women leaders have not held demos calling for its ban on constitutional grounds. We honestly can't have a drink christened 'panty remover' in these husband snatching times.

And what is it about pubs and toilet paper? Most 'ladies' as the women's washrooms are called, never have toilet tissue. So the girls have to suffer the indignity of begging a barman for TP each time they need to go for a leak.

Are these pub owners suggesting that women steal toilet tissue or that they are wasteful? Oh, and don't get me started about those Naivasha women who are dying from 'cold' because their husbands spend nights chasing wild animals from farms.