Signs that you are in an unhealthy relationship

Most shattered families began with an unhealthy and bad relationship during dating and courtship. Many people will put up with their partner’s bad behavior, either because it is cute, at the time or because they believe they will change when they tie the knot.

Bad behavior, poor choices and lifestyle habits that affect a relationship should under no circumstances be tolerated. Ignoring these habits at the beginning of the relationship demonstrates ignorance and sets partners up to a life of misery ending in an unhealthy relationship, instead of thriving as God intended.

Relationships in dating and courtship stage are beautiful and they ought to be nurtured and enjoyed. However, it is at this point that you should watch out for some very important fundamentals. Relationships have the potential to give individuals great joy and sometimes greatest pain, you have the power to make the best decisions concerning your life partner to avoid the potential pitfalls.

It is important to acknowledge whether a relationship is worth working on and recognizing signs of an unhealthy relationship and making the right choices. The indicators of an unhealthy relationship may go unnoticed; the assumption is they are normal, cultural, traditional or simply a family pattern. Unhealthy relationships are toxic; they cause physiological and psychological challenges.

These relationships can cause so much strain causing a volcano of emotional stress, damaging one’s self esteem and eventually threatens their total well-being that affects their performance in every area of life.

It is therefore important to tell the signs of an unhealthy relationship and do something before it takes toil on you and your partner.

Check your attitude

While it’s true that a healthy and happy relationship should do your self-esteem a lot of good, if your self-esteem is not good to begin with, there isn’t much your partner can do for you. They may do all they can, care, love and affirm but you will find it hard to receive because of a poor self-image. You will tend to feel your partner is too good for you, and you are therefore not worthy of their love. Such feelings can seriously damage a relationship. Check out “who am I” walk through the stages of affirming yourself and seek ways to find good in yourself before others can find good in you. Relationships begin with self-acceptance, seek it.

Do you feel respected?

If you constantly feel disrespected and devalued in your relationship, take action. Do not generalize your circumstances, that all relationships endure the same. Verbalize and communicate your feelings, expecting some results. If this does not change, then consider leaving. Emotional or physical abuse should not be tolerated in the onset of a relationship, staying only encourages continuous abuse.

Many think when you get married, then abuse stops because the partner is no longer insecure. Unfortunately, this is never the case. An abuser continues to abuse and gets worse when unexposed. Do yourself a favor and leave before it is too late.

Is trust broken?

Trust is the foundation of any relationship and the glue that holds it together. When trust is broken in courtship, it is important to have a reality check. Measure the level of broken trust and be real. Is it worth working on? It could be a sign of the individual’s moral compass and indication of their behavior and lifestyle habits. Without trust, love, care, concern, commitment, and communication cannot effectively happen. If a partner continues violating trust, choose to end the relationship. Mutual trust is essential in every relationship and both partners must be committed.

Do you feel depressed or unhappy most times?

Aspiring for a good and healthy relationship is what motivates humans as they engage in relationships. There is a hunger for love, acceptance and happiness. If a relationship infuses more of negative energy and sadness, then it is not beneficial and it is important to choose to let it go.

Wellness is crucial and so be true to yourself and measure your levels of satisfaction in line with your expectations. Relationships should be enjoyed not endured!

The writer is a Relationship Coach and Author, Marriage Built to Last. You can reach her on; www.jenniekarina.co.ke