Dear Coleen
My girlfriend aborted our baby behind my back. In fact, I didn’t even know she was pregnant until it was all over.
I realise now that she was still going out and drinking alcohol right up until the evening before the procedure.
I haven’t seen her for the past six weeks – my decision – but she’s claiming she loves me and wants us to carry on with our relationship.
I’m having a hard time believing she can love me when she can’t tell me the truth about important things like the pregnancy – and she’s also been seen out with other lads.
Coleen says
She sounds awful, I’m afraid. She also clearly has a lot of growing up to do before she’ll be able to have a loving and trusting relationship.
She says she loves you, but you’re right – lying about something this big and also seeing other guys behind your back is not love.
I’m sure you’ve already thought about this, but how can you be sure the baby was even yours?
Maybe that’s one of the reasons she had a termination – because she wasn’t sure either.
You’ve not seen her for six weeks, so you’ve got over the worst bit of the break-up.
If I were your mother I’d be telling you that you deserve so much better and advising you not to waste any more time on this girl.
And count your lucky stars that you saw her true colours before marriage or a family.
So move on – and use contraception!