Co-parenting can be challenging especially for divorced partners and the sole reason many opt for it is because they want to be a part of their children’s lives, and that is a good thing.
It’s important to find a middle ground to co-parent without causing emotional and mental stress on the children. As much as we might not be able to stand our exes, when it comes to our kids, we have no choice and that is where parallel parenting comes in.
Parallel parenting is a way of co-parenting after a divorce and it is considered one of the best as it minimizes chances of any drama. It is an arrangement where parents co-parent but with minimal interaction.
Unless the conversation is about the child the parents don’t have to talk, meet or interact. It sounds cold but this can actually be an effective way of co-parenting with an ex without any chances of drama.
In the case where the parents are clashing instead of having a confrontation, they usually have a third party who helps them negotiate in a peaceful and respectful manner.
Most divorced couples who don’t see eye to eye have adopted this way of parenting as it has made the process easier and manageable. Most lawyers and therapist’s advice divorcees to use this way of parenting to avoid placing their children at the center of dispute which might end up affecting the children.
So, what is parallel parenting? Below we discuss that and five reasons why it is better.
According to Psychology Today, parallel parenting is an arrangement where parents are able to co-parent by means of disengaging from each other.
Like aforementioned, parents have very limited direct contact with each other while remaining fully connected to their children.
Strange as it may sound, it has numerous advantages.
i.Protecting parent-child relationships
Due to the limited interaction between the parents, the child does not experience parental conflicts. It protects the child from being placed in the middle of a fight. Since the parents barely talk to each other it is very hard for them to fight especially in front of the child. So, the child will not have to choose sides.
ii.It is a good way of establishing rules and boundaries
Parallel parenting forces the parents to respect boundaries and agreements. Having no room for negotiating on already agreed upon schedules and rules unless it’s an emergency will help both parents observe the rules they have and respect boundaries.
Co-parents sometimes end up going overboard and crossing the line in matters that do not concern them such as when one parent moving on.
iii.It reduces stress
The comfort of knowing that your ex-partner cannot call you at random hours with some cooked-up drama is amazing.
Since communication should only be about the child, your ex cannot contact you for anything else. They also cannot show up to your house or office without an appointment or valid reason. They cannot burden you with their issues either.
iv.Everyone has to play their part
Since the rules are official and binding, each parent has to play their part. Some exes don’t like doing the hard job but they want to reap the benefits.
The agreement signed by both parents is legally binding and one not fulfilling their part of the agreement without notice or a good reason can result in a court case. This forces both parents to play their roles as effectively as possible.
v.Custody and control
Parallel parenting is very effective in ensuring both parents spend time with their child without enduring cases where a parent is denied access to their child.
With this parenting style both parents have a schedule for spending quality time with their child without interference from the other parent. Denying one parent access to their child can result in a court case which might end up with one parent loosing custody over their child.