Be careful what you wish for, the old adage says, because you may just get it. A few months ago, you would have given anything in the world to have Carol. Now she is your worst nightmare. You feel suffocated. She seems to have pressed on the gas pedal and you are going down a steep hill.

Since she marked her territory, she has moved on to consolidate her votes. Last weekend, she was overly nice to your friends, including the pesky and annoying Patrick. She was patient, kind and served them food, including beer. That was very uncharacteristic of her. Interestingly, she also participated in all the lively conversations and even hooked up your best friend with one of hers.

Research show drivers are most obnoxious on Mondays. Do you agree?

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Only you could read through her clever ruse to cheat the men into accepting her. Which they all did, since they all sang her praises as they left. What is it with Africans and food that makes us lose our heads?

Carol also did something unusual recently. She called you for evening coffee at Java, but to your surprise, she was with her mother when you showed up. She introduced you and you barely had time to adjust yourself. Her mother must have been an absolute beauty and you have no doubt where Carol's beauty came from.

She is also the authoritative type, must have been a high school deputy or something. She interrogates you in a dismissive way. You have to remain calm and composed but you are fuming with fury. How could she not prepare you to meet your prospective mother-in-law?

On your way home, you want to ask her but you decide to play it cool. She ignores you, because the point is home. She is really determined to make it work. In no time, at home she has become a home maker like never before. Her nails no longer deter her from whipping your best meal, mostly chapati and veggie stew, or fish and ugali. She ensures that you eat at home and she has kept her distance about asking your whereabouts 24/7. She has given you all the freedom you want.

What she doesn't know is that you have traveled this road before. You can detect deception from miles away. You once dated a girl called Makena. She nearly fooled you into marrying her before her true colours surfaced. She too arranged and disarranged the house and invited her friends... but she proved irresponsible and unnecessarily materialistic.

While you like Carol, her latest behaviour - that of too much pressure and an inexplicable sense of urgency - has left you wondering what is wrong with her? Is she using you to later dump you? Is she being pressured by the biological clock? Why was she reserved at first, went loose on you afterwards, only for her to be into the marriage idea you had merely suggested?

Some things just don't add up.

@nyanchwani snyanchwani@gmail.com


marriage;relationships