This weeks topic:
I am 26 and think that it is about time I settled down and start a family. For several years I have been wondering what kind of woman would make a good wife and mother. I am caught between looking for a housewife or stay at home woman or a working class lady. I am inclined to look for a housewife because I think she will be good for the children but then again I need advise on this. I really want to make a good choice from the start and not regret later in life.
{Roy}
Your take:
Marriage is a long journey that takes two to make. Pray for a loving, caring, faithful and trustworthy wife. You might not get a perfect woman but make sure the one you choose is among the good ones. However, remember that to find the right woman, you have to be the right man as well. Marriage is a good thing and even though it has challenges, it is fulfilling in many ways, especially when you have the right partner.
{Ouma Ragumo}
The success of a marriage is not determined by the working status of a wife but by the values they hold. My advice is that you look for a mother to your children first then make her what you want in case she is not a finished product. On this, let your conscience, not your heart, prevail.
{Tasma Saka}
Marriage is not walk-in walk-out situation but a lifelong institution. The people in a marriage are the ones that determine how they want it to be. On whether a working class or stay-at-home wife, I would prefer a working woman as she is can support you physically, spiritually and financially. These so called housewives are a burden and may be spoiled by neighbours, maids and idle friends. Take your time otherwise you will end up with the wrong woman.
{Onyango Outha}
Roy, you seem to have a lot of stereotypes of women. I don’t think you look at women as individuals but as different groups of people. Until you get to that point of accepting that every woman has her own personality and her own values, you will either never find someone to marry or you will end up with the wrong woman. Perhaps you need time to grow up.
{Esther Fanaka}
Counsellor's take:
Roy, that predicament you are in is quite natural for a man of your age. Every young man hopes to find the right woman for a wife. Many of us do but unfortunately others don’t. It is important to find the right woman because a woman, a wife can build and help you reach heights you never imagined possible. At the same time the wrong woman can cause a man unbearable pain and torment and cause permanent damage to a man. It is therefore an important choice for a man essentially because we all want to be happy.
The interesting thing about this choice is that no matter how hard you try the right choice lies with God. Men date many women but a good wife comes from God. At 26, you really don’t know much about women as you will come to realise. You will come to learn quite a lot about them when you settle down and live with them very day of your life. So you are caught between a stay at home or a working class wife. I will tell you here and now that in many ways, this is not an authoritative criterion for assessing a wife. The most important thing is the woman inside not what they do or don’t do for a living. Further, a working class lady can easily become a stay-at-home mum and vice versa.
That said, I will add that both working class and home makers have their fair share of advantages and disadvantages. For instance, home maker may do all the necessary tasks and raise her family well but remember she will have a lot of time in her hands and nothing to do with it. With this, she can nag and become a permanent source of grief to you especially because she may also not understand the intricacies and dynamics of a working person. A working class woman will also have her share of issues including lesser time for the family but all systems go and function well.
The most important thing is to ask God for a wife. The other variables such as beautiful, working or not working e.t.c. should just be seen for what they are – variables. Pray and look for a woman that you can live with. A woman who lives in the world we live in and not the next one, a woman who knows what is expected of her and a woman who appreciates the value of a family. That will be the right choice of a wife.
{Taurus}