Pornography is a weird thing. Everyone watches porn, but pretends not to, which is hardly surprising.
Sex, one of the most pleasurable things in life, perhaps only second to counting a thick wad of banknotes, has this ridiculous stigma around it. A stigma that I suspect was engineered by jealous celibate monks.
Still, I often wonder what drives human beings to star in porn movies. I don’t know about the women, but I often imagine a man would have to be extremely daft to act in a porn movie. I mean, while other men are showing off big farms, hot wives, large businesses and brains, numerous university degrees, the male porn star’s only achievement is that he owns a big, blue-pill powered thing.
I could, however, be mistaken. With rumours wafting around that university student’s act in blue movies, brains could be filtering into the sector. That, or exam cheating is sneaking lots of riffraff through the system.
That aside, methinks the quality of pornography speaks volumes about a nation’s economy, standard of living and the creativity of her people.
In a backward African state littered with half-brained and corrupt politicians, where child mortality is high, diseases are rampant, and food and water are scarce, you would be utterly bonkers to go shooting a blue movie, or any movie for that matter.
Faced with more urgent matters, such as putting food on the table and fleeing from armed militia, you would never have the luxury of viewing sex as entertainment. It is merely that sweaty, furtive thing you do in the dark as a temporary catharsis against the constant fears and wretchedness of your life.
But when you live in a Western capital, where the State is inclined to feed you even if you are a bum, you can spend all your free time dreaming about sex. Heck, you could even act in a blue movie for kicks or to earn a few bucks for bhangi.
As a rule, and from an artist’s perspective, pornographic movies are a load of bull crap. The story lines, if at all it gets that far, are so brainless that kindergarten kids could think up 10 times more intelligent skits in their sleep. But when a nation is wealthy, its people well educated and fed, people have the luxury to be creative so their pornography can pretend to be a movie.
I am, however, meant to understand some ‘creative’ Kenyans have been shooting pornographic movies. But from what I have gathered from a few brave souls who have spent Sh50 on ‘buy Kenyan build Kenya’ blue movies, it is a waste of time and money.
I hear the things ooze mediocrity, from ugly sets, poor lighting and shenzi filming. One viewer, who cannot be named for ethical reasons, said he saw “nothing.” In other words, our pornography is as hopeless and third-rate as everything else we make.
If our engineers can’t build roads that last, if our architects can only ‘copy’ European villas, if our doctors keep leaving towels in patients’ bellies, if our farms are dead, if our university students cheat in exams, if our corruption is a major pillar of our economy, how do you expect us to produce decent porn movies?