What you need to know about obsessive love

Love is meant to be an equal exchange between two people. However, there are cases where it may feel one-sided with one partner trying to control the other.

You'll notice that partners who are obsessed want all of their significant other’s attention and then become angry and jealous at any perceived threat. They view their partner as a possession rather than an equal party.

Obsessive love is a sign of underlying mental health issues and can be diagnosed by a doctor. Here's what you should know for sure about it and what to do.

Causes of obsessive love

i. Erotomania

This is a delusional disorder that makes the sufferer believe in a certain destiny for love. The relationship between the two might be over but they still think it is perfect. Because of this, the deluded individual monitors their 'partner' to the point of stalking them, thinking they are close. It may even escalate to violence.

ii. Attachment disorder

If the ‘obsessor’ had an abusive childhood and their caregiver neglected giving them emotional stability, they may develop an attachment disorder. This means that their view of relationships is to cling and try to control things so as to 'save' the relationship.

iii. Social and cultural norms

This person have observed one gender being treated as inferior, like possessions. If left unresolved, these seemingly normal habits can be carried into adulthood and they try to treat their romantic partners in the same way.

iv. Mental health disorders like depression

A characteristic of depression is feeling lonely and unworthy of love. Because of this, they will try to hold on to their relationships even when the object of their affection says they aren’t interested in a bid to fill that void.

Signs of obsessive love

Trying to control their partner is the obvious sign of obsessive love disorder. Their obsession may result in emotional and even physical abuse when their partner fails to 'cooperate'. If the other person tries to leave, they are met with a slew of threats.

Many people going through this will try to make the relationship last longer than it should when in reality they should let it go.

Treatment

Therapy is the best way course of treatment for this disorder. The therapist will gauge the intensity of the obsession and help the individual recover. Treatment involves detaching both physically and emotionally from the person they are obsessed with.

Since social media makes it easy to keep track of past loves and feed the obsession further, patients are encouraged to unfollow the object of their obsession until such a time when they are well.

A good support system, either friends or family may help the patient speak up early and get the help they need.

Obsessive love can be a pain and breaks many relationships. Everyone is made to give and take back love. When the love seesaw is toppled with a controlling type of love, that relationship is bound to lose balance.