Dear men, this is why you should not be excited if she offers to settle the bill

Kenyan men have lamented about the free-loading habits of Kenyan women. The constant complaint being; women have epicurean tastes in upmarket restaurants, but have no corresponding agility to reach for the purse when the bill arrives.

We have heard of men who took off when a whopping bill landed on the table, like a previous case about a man who left a young woman with a Sh230,000 at the Intercontinental Hotel, Nairobi. Then there were the four college girls from an upmarket university who were left with a Sh15,000 bill when the white boyfriend of one of them refused to take care of the bill.

I think it is time women learnt that before embarking on a date or vacation with a man, they should at least have a contingency plan, should things backfire. Often, they do. Women can be carelessly ambitious with their tastes and incautiously optimistic when dealing with men they fancy for the first time.

However, there is a new class of women who are very conscious of the politics of the bills on date days and nights. Maybe they learnt the hard way. The days when they leaned back and watched as the man flinched settling the bill are nearly over. I have been taken aback when my objects of fantasy insisted they had to pay the bill. It is a welcome move that women are now ready to take care of their bill, but there is a price men are paying for this (if you can pardon the pun).

It is all about power play. When a woman pays the bill, it could be that she is not feeling your vibe. Therefore, she does not want any trace of guilt or responsibility when she dumps you shortly after the measly lunch you have bought her. Men pay the bills with carnal expectations in mind. When a woman offers to take care of her bill, she is silently communicating that you have a mountain to climb. For whoever takes care of the bill has the silent unquestionable advantage of taking the other partner home at the end of the date, or night.

Thus, a woman who resorts to pay the bill reverses the rules of the game. She wants to take you home for the night. And expel you before the cock crows-no pun intended. Such fierce independence can be irritating. It reduces an honest game of dating game into a power contest. As soon as she pays, the man loses any advantage he had over the woman.

By her paying the bill, it dis-empowers you. Deflates any chance you have to impress her. This is especially painful for men who have nothing to offer other than their car and the flashy things. The man now has to be more creative in his bid. The younger generation of women wants more than your car, your wit, or money. Especially, if you are dating a woman within your age or work place.

Now, not many brothers are gifted verbally. The reason we need many compensatory items; the car, the good house, nice bodies that we must work hard towards obtaining in order to get and keep a woman.

So when a woman offers to let the man lean back as she examines the bill, she is on the verge of either turning down any sexual request or demanding it on her terms. So, bro, DO NOT LET HER TOUCH THE FIRST BILL.

@nyanchwani