Boy, it feels good when my wife apologises

Those who have swallowed their pride, or eaten humble pie, say it tastes really bad. Rotten eggs bad. When you go away, that is what Carol is forced to eat. And she doesn't like it.

While proud, narcissistic and selfish, Carol is also bright. And that is why she notices that your leaving her for two weeks had nothing to do with your work. It was just bullshit; a way to get back at her. Sheer, utter, absolute nonsense, childishness and being petulant. So no sooner have you buckled up in the flight, and been allowed to turn on your phones, than you receive a message from her.

"Honey, I am sorry if I did anything to offend you. I know this journey has nothing to do with your job. Come home when you can (suggestive smileys)."

You read it and think about it. Then you switch your phone off and promise yourself that you will get back to her in 12 hours. At your destination, you hit the bar and drink like a sailor. And you forget to reply altogether. Which is unfortunate. You go to sleep and wake up with a monster hangover.

By the time you turn on the phone, it is more than 24 hours later. As soon as you do, a stream of WhatsApp messages pour in from her. First, she apologises. Then increasingly she rains in alarmingly messages about your whereabouts and safety. Boy, she truly cares. She overuses the sweet nothings, which is telling for Carol, who adamantly likes to call you by a formal and shortened version of your first name. You can smell a lot of concern in her tone.

So you reply curtly, "I arrived safely. Will talk when back."

"Thank God!!! Was really worried...and don't be that harsh to me," she pleads.

You feeling cocky and not in the mood to accept apologies from an errant wife. But Carol knows how to get you. You go to the beach to do your thing. By the time you come back and check your phone, she has sent you photos of the foods she has prepared. The foods look finger-licking good. You don't respond. But WhatsApp is so sneaky, it shows you have read them. You really want to be as misanthropic as possible. You want to be so extreme so that next time you do something, she will not overreact.

Sensing that you have ignored her stellar efforts, she decides to send her pictures; very provocative ones, and she asks you that question women always ask. It is a trap. You have been here before. But this wins you over. It shows her commitment to change her evil ways.

"I like," you write back.

She sends more. Even crazier ones.

"All this is waiting for you," she writes back.

Man. Kinky is not the first thing that comes to mind if you run into Carol in her corporate suit. You will first think of stocks and bonds. But what you admire most about Carol is that she is the original lady in the street and slut under the sheets. To which you acknowledge.

Somehow, the pictures work magic and you see your stupidity for what it is. You accept to go back home. With a lot of anticipation.

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