Message from the fellas to the ladies: A woman should know what she wants

One of the situations men always find themselves in the dating game is coming across a woman who does not know what she wants in life. No purpose. No drive. No motivation. Nothing. She exists and that is all. She lives one day at time, no sense of purpose or urgency.

I am talking about women who get pregnant 'carelessly' for instance. I use the word careless to refer to women who have unprotected sex with men; they scarcely want to be the father of their children. I am talking about women who stay in abusive relationships, too afraid they will never find someone who will love them better.

 Women who stick in bad jobs, too afraid to venture out and find something better. Women who find pleasure in the mediocrity that life throws at them, be it the version of bad friends, relatives, relationship, work, you name it. Women incapable of making hard decisions in life.

There are so many of them around. It sucks by the way. If you are a woman and reading this, pause and ask yourself, what is your purpose in life? What are your life goals? How do you want to achieve them? I write this because I am currently in the biggest city in the world and women over here are an empowered lot. And when you meet, from the word go, you get the notion that they all know what they want out of life.

If they want no-strings-attached sex, they tell you upfront, DTF-Google the acronym. If they want a relationship, they tell you from the outset. If they don't want you, they tell you to your face. It is a mechanical existence, but you appreciate it, since it saves all of you so much time and pain in the long run.

It makes me regret being Kenyan. Every second woman you meet will let you date her on your terms, which sometimes are selfish and have no definition outside your sexual thirst. And by letting you (the man) take control of the relationship, you are prone to abuse it.

 Men are careless, selfish and entitled. Women are too. But that is why there is need for communication to agree on the compromises to make and the obligations of each party.

I find women who take every man by his word and do nothing to make the man accountable a tad exasperating. And I urge women to have standards... realistic ones, that is. Know what kind of man you deserve (importantly he must respect you).

Learn to make some decisions on your own. Stop buying too much of your pastor's or women minister's advice. Stop the crap with motivational books. Trust your brains and instinct a little.

As a friend recently wrote in her Facebook post, 'happiness is a choice.' It is a cliché. But you must make a choice to be happy. Let no one ruin your life. And if they ruin it, the power to get it back on track, no matter the destruction they wrought, is in your hands.

Or simply, know what you want, how to get it and realistically adjust the goals from time to be in tandem with present reality. But say NO MEDIOCRE.