How do I reveal this secret to my co-wife?!

I am a mother of one. My husband died in February 2014 leaving his first family - a wife and two daughters - and myself as the second wife with a son. We are both customarily married. We had collectively bought land where he put up a house. To safeguard my money, the land is in my name but he put up a house for the other family. They don't know this land is under my name and he died before building a house for me. My business has since gone down and I cannot make enough cash to sustain my son and I. I really need a place to live without paying rent, but I don't know how to bring up the land issue since it is the only asset I have in my name. Please advise me. {Rosemary}

Your Take:

If the land is registered in your name, there is no reason why you should be dragging your feet. Inform her as soon as possible and take action to claim your son’s inheritance.

You can seek the services of a lawyer for a smooth transition though I think it will be tough because the first wife will not believe that you did not manipulate the husband to register the land in your name. It’s a big task but you have no option but to face it head on.

{John Musuku}

If the land is in your name, then it is yours by law. However, let your co-wife share in your fears and tribulations, she may be having a better option for you.

 It may be necessary, if the first option fails to involve a property expert because it is a fairly complex arrangement. You may need to steer clear of what may drive a wedge between the two families. Explore all peaceful options first.

{Tasma Charles}

The issue is delicate and you may not go about it alone. It is also not as simple. None of you has the sole right of ownership so you must consult each other and come up with a middle ground.

 Also take time to hear her side of the story. This will definitely get you into bad books with her so be careful how you go about it but remember he was your breadwinner. You deserve a home and a house.

{Ouma Rangumo, Sifuyo}

This is a rather complicated situation Rosemary. However, if you had collectively bought the land, the other family has a right to demand a share of it. Do not be guided to do evil by chasing them away since the land is in your name.

 I can guarantee you that it will definitely come back to you and you will never live in happiness. Initiate a conversation and let co-wife know that you want to put up a house in the land. If she agrees that you sub-divide it into two, you will have saved yourselves the tussle.

If she does not agree, engage the services of a lawyer so that the land can be sub-divided between you too. Good luck.

{Calvin Queens}

Counselor’s Take:

Rosemary, receive my condolences for the loss of your husband. It must be particularly tough for you especially now that your business had gone under. One way or the other, you will make it through. About your situation, I consulted a specialist in family law who cited three things on this matter.

One, that you are the rightful owner of the land. Effectively this makes you the owner of the house as well. However, she added that it would be prudent to declare how much you contributed to constructing the house and who contributed the rest.

Should it be proven that he or his first wife put in money to the development of a property that is on your land, this would grant him (in this case the administrator to his estate) and any other person who contributed proprietary interest over the house (the interest is not extended to the land).

 What this means is that they would be entitled to either a share of the money realized from the property or some other acceptable form of enjoyment for somebody else’s utilization of the property.

Second, she emphasized on the need to know the administrator to the estate of the deceased. This would help in setting up a case against the first wife.

This is also important because if you were recognised by his family as his second wife then you ought to be included as an administrator. Third, she said you have absolute right to claim your land back.

However, you should not hire goons to evict them but follow due process using the legal channel. You can file a suit seeking to evict trespassers on your property which will get you started on that process. You may get in touch with me if you need the contact details of the lawyer who is willing to help.

Lastly, I encourage you to first try and settle this matter amicably before pursuing the matter in Court. Nonetheless, it is essential that you get all the documents in order to strengthen your case.

Carry out a search from the Ministry of Lands, Urban Housing and Development to ascertain the actual ownership status of the land. Men have been known to issue fake Title Deeds to their girlfriends to get them to invest in property development only for them to realize the fraud when it was too late.

Also put together evidence of your contribution to construction of the house as they may be required at some point. {Taurus}