I have never had sex before! Will this mess up my relationship?

Hi Chris,

I love my boyfriend and we’re really close, so I’ve decided to start having sex with him. But it’s going to be my first time and I’m afraid I’m going to mess everything up. Advice please!

First Time

Chris says,

Hi, First Time!

Everyone’s a bit scared the first time, and things often go wrong at first. That’s because couples need to know what they’re doing, be comfortable with their bodies and be able to communicate well in bed.

So first make sure you’re well informed. And that you’re both prepared to take things slowly! Because the first time you’re intimate together, you need to take as long as it takes to get to know each other’s bodies. Even days. Leave the lights on, look, touch and ask questions.

Make sure you use good contraception. And if you want to pause for any reason, just pause. Think it might be too hard to say stop when you need to? Then you are not ready for sex. Make sure of that before you start!

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Be 100 per cent honest about everything. No faking. And don’t imagine it’s going to be like in the movies. Real sex is much better. Friendly, fun, longer, lots more kissing and cuddling. And that special sleep after it’s over is something else.

Don’t get drunk. And if that sounds boring, then you’re not ready for sex. Don’t have sex when your boyfriend is drunk, even if you’re sober. It’s not nearly as much fun anyway.

And before you have sex with your boyfriend, make sure he’s not the least bit crazy. Yes, I know you love him, but if he sometimes does strange things, it usually means he has some sort of personality disorder. And being intimate with someone with a personality disorder could ruin your life for years.

Above all, remember this. There’s no shortage of sex out there. So if you have any doubts at all, trust me, there’s always another chance. And missing out on something that could end in tears could be the most important thing you ever do.

All the best,

Chris