Men only: Five people your wife is likely to cheat on you with- from Exes to bosses, male friends

Last Friday was Women’s Day. And I will leave it to the likes of Beryl Itindi to celebrate it to the hilt. And instead talk about something that has come to my attention just these last 69 days of the year.

I don’t know where I have been living, or if it is in just 2019 (69 days) that I noticed that many married women these days have equally become players, when it used to be men by far who were the cheats in relationships. And here I am talking about married women! 

Anyway, if you are a married man, know that the chap your woman is most likely to cheat on you with is an ex!

As a man, I have no idea why any man would want to go back and have sex with an ex-wife, ex fiancée or ex GF. This is what Ecclesiastes meant when he said it is like a dog going back to lick its vomit.

But many women feel safer with familiar folks, like their exes, as opposed to going out with strangers they meet in a bar, for example. At least they will not end up naked in chains in a basement with a man who calls them ‘Mommy’.

Then there is the case of the Sponsor.

I know a married woman who was sleeping with a major soldier from South Sudan, just because he was the BIG government buyer of her supply of coffins!

She would go to clear her caskets in Dubai, and the commander would join her there for gland-to-gland combat!

Bosses are another source of competition for the married man, especially if the wife out-earns him -- and she so happens to admire her boss immensely.

I know of an embassy woman who semi-abandoned her family to officially accompany her boss on a posting in a country thousands of miles from Kenya.

She would send lots of money monthly to the hubby for upkeep, pay the two boys fees in posh schools, and they would visit her thrice a year. But, meanwhile, she was having full diplomatic relationships with her superior.

Only when the Consul ended the affair, because it was now threatening his own marriage, did she get ‘deported’ to Kenya, to now work at the Harambee Avenue office, as a persona non grata in office politics coz of the rumours.

And it is not only the middle to Upper Classes who suffer these things. Remember the mboch neighbour I told you about sometime back, who was banging Baba Watoto? Turns out she was also stealing same man’s clothes, shoes and even underwear - to give to her own hubby in the kijiji.

She would also crook sugar, salt, soap and other household stuff, to support her own two kids. I wonder what this ‘Selina’ would say to her hubby, probably a casual stone mason.

‘Bwanangu, nimekununulieko underwear poa sana second hand kutoka stall ya Musau!

If Kijiji man is clever, he would simply wash and wear his new underwear, and never ask Musau where he is getting underwear written Çalvin Klein. Because, boss, going down that road is what leads to murder.

Some women, even married ones, are attracted and flattered by flirtatious celebrities. One of them, a celeb, told me how he is having a hot affair with a married lady manager from his gym, just because he jokingly flirted with her.

‘Next thing, after gym, we are doing dinners where she tells me what a douche bag her man, father of her kid, is. Then we are doing gym over lunchtime, and she is spending too many afternoons at my place. At first it is fun ...’ His voice trailed off, a trapped look in his eyes.

Some male friends are also dangerous with their buddy’s wives. I have a relative abroad who was only too happy to get a baby boy with his wife, back in 2015. Baby Bob, he was. But by the time the beloved Bob turned two, he bore an unmistakable resemblance to his best friend, Kevin.

My cousin divorced the woman last year -- and she is now living with her baby daddy, Kevin.

The sad thing is that Baby Bob, who is now almost four, still cries for his ‘Papa’ -- my poor cuckold cousin.

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