Feeling ashamed: Photo; Courtesy

Masturbation is the sexual stimulation of one’s own genitals for sexual arousal or other sexual pleasure, usually to the point of orgasm. The stimulation may involve objects, sex toys, hands, fingers or a combination.

Masturbation is also referred to as self-pleasuring or self-pleasing. For some it is a routine of relieving stress, clearing the mind, a way to find good sleep, a pleasure seeking habit that eventually turns into an addiction.

Masturbation is common in male and female of all ages, more common, however, in men. It may begin as a part of body exploration early at childhood as James confesses; “it was my first sexual experience”.

According to James, It began with curiosity, progressed to habitual pleasure and now an addiction that he is unable to quit. Like James, many individuals do find themselves caught up in the jaws of masturbation, unable to get out of this addictive habit which eventually affects not only the individual’s quality of life but impacts negatively on their relationships.

Although the benefits of masturbation are arguable given as several, including health benefits, the truth is that this habit is deadly and causes several challenges. Studies indicate that continuous masturbation results to physiological effects; shrinkage or bending of the penis, premature ejaculation, lower back pain, reduced reaction, loss of sexual pleasure because one’s orgasm becomes weak.

Eventually, it has serious effects, including emotional challenges; fear, guilt, shame and a low self-esteem which makes one dysfunctional. Other challenges are the continuous search for a fleeting fantasy. This brings along a sense of desperation, hopelessness and is extremely frustrating.

How to break the habit

Harmful effects of masturbation are caused over a period of time and time is essential in getting over it, which an individual must get over to enjoy normal life and a fulfilling relationship.

Practitioners of behavioral therapy believe that the behavior is learned and can therefore be un-learned. The aim is to help the individual learn new, positive behaviors that will help them refocus and stop the habit.

Exercise

Exercise helps the body releases endorphins, a good feel hormone that stimulates the individual improving their mood and general well-being as endorphins trigger a positive feeling in the body accompanied by a positive and energizing outlook on life. Consider hitting the gym or joining a Zumba dance class. Exercise is powerful; it helps individuals manage their masturbation habits.

Stay busy and focused

It helps to keep busy, and avoid being over preoccupied about sex. Consider filling your time with engaging and beneficial activities. Apart from the usual duties, purpose to learn a new skill; play an instrument that you have always desired. Consider a personal development class. Change social circles and make new friends socializing.

The excitement of a new found hobby and friends will most certainly reduce the desire and urge for masturbating. This serves as a distraction and energizer that keeps you from the temptation.

Stop watching porn

This is one time that you need to exercise discipline. Stop accessing porn and by all means avoid solitary. Use your time wisely, instead of indulging, do something else, keep yourself accountable, and ensure you have no access to the computer when you are vulnerable.

Have faith

Nothing is impossible where faith is exercised; you can get over your masturbation habit if you choose to and apply faith. Have an accountability partner who will hold you accountable as you seek to overcome the habit. Know when to seek help.

If you have tried it all and you are unable to make the necessary adjustments on your own, it is time to seek help.

Under no circumstances should you feel ashamed. Others have been helped and so will you. Seeking help is a good and honorable action. See a doctor, therapist or a counselor before the habit destroys you. Several therapy options are available to help you recover. Choose to live, love and thrive because you deserve it!