Raising kids: Why your parenting style matters

When it comes to parenting, there is no one size fits all. Every child is unique and so is every parent.

How you treat and interact with your child will influence them for the rest of their lives.

If you invest time and energy to set rules, explain the reason behind the rules, take your child’s opinion into account and reinforce good behavior through positive discipline and rewarding – you identify as an authoritative parent.

If you have a strict approach to parenting where schedules have to be followed to the tee and your child has to do what you have said they must do or suffer the consequences of strict punishment when rules are broken – you are an authoritarian parent.

But if you find yourself breaking the rules, not following through with consequences and you take up more of a friend role than that of a parent – you may be a permissive parent. You tend to negotiate with your child if they promise to change in exchange of privileges and little effort is put in discouraging bad behavior.

And if none of these describe you then you may be an uninvolved parent. You have little knowledge about what your child is doing, you don’t spend much time together and they pretty much raise themselves.

Scary right?

Well, here are reasons why your parenting style matters.

It can make or break their self-esteem

Kids who are raised by uninvolved parents tend to have a hard time forming lasting and healthy relationships due to trust issues which stems from the absence of an emotional connection with a parent.

They tend to have low esteem and they cannot control their emotions which may lead to delinquency and some addiction problems.

Such children also grow up to be impulsive and may encounter mental problems such as suicide from an early age due to the lack of a proper support system.

It will determine their success

If a child grows up in an authoritative home where they receive support and affection, he or she is likely to be friendly, happy and cooperative.

Since the child knows what is expected of them and they will be held accountable when they cross boundaries, this creates a sense of awareness.

Because they feel cherished and valued, they develop good self-esteem, have better mental health and they achieve higher academic success compared to their peers. These children also tend to be more independent and goal oriented.

You can make them dysfunctional

Warm parents are guilty of over indulging their children. Since they don’t want to disappoint their children, they rarely if ever, say no.

And sadly, due to this approach, the outcome is anything but something to be proud of. Because there is no structure and rules don’t really apply, the children may grow up with no discipline, have zero social skills and possess egocentric tendencies.

They are also more likely to get involved in risky behavior since they cannot follow rules.

You can do more harm than good

If you’re an authoritarian parent, chances are you probably justify your mean treatment as tough love. Simple attempts of reasoning are seen as backtalk and you demand blind obedience or else, your children are faced with stern discipline to control their behavior.

Such children tend to be unhappy, have low self-esteem, have terrible copying capabilities and tend to exhibit behavioral problems.